The tropical night was shrouded in darkness, adding an air of mystery to the night. The clouds above us are heavy with rain, it is nearly suffocating the captivating emerald grass. The rain starts to drizzle and the bright rays of sunlight, just nearly peeking through the dark and light gray clouds that covers the sky. The rain briefly transforms into a dazzling display of colors before fading away. I like when it’s gloomy outside, but not when it’s for days, I ’ve been locked in my house for days. All you can do outside is play field games and play on the playground, but all of that will get you sick. You could try to find a dry cubby to sit and talk with your friends but that only slightly decreases the chance of getting sick, but I can’t get sick. Not with finals in 5 days.

I sit here drinking a warm caramel coffe and eating a muffin. The energy in the bakery is so low that there are barely anyone in here, but you can hear the murmuring from the people who are here. The smell of fresh baked goods fills the whole bakery. I love to write on my breaks, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, which puts a smile on my face. Writing makes me happy. I’m not happy with my job or my life, but that’s because I want to be a writer. Writing always calms me down, but being a writer is not easy, I can’t just quit my job and become a writer. I can only write in my free time. I work remotely as a software engineer so I can pretty much work anywhere. which makes it better to write while on my breaks. Today I chose to sit in a corner of this bakery and watch the cars go by at the intersections. I wish it was louder in here, it normally is, I don’t normally come to this bakery on a Wednesday. I wanted to change it up a little and I don’t like it. I hate change, I wish nothing ever changes. Everything alway changes for the worst or for the best, it doesn’t matter life still always changes..

Is it with night comes darkness, but also do stars. Or is it with the stars come a dark gloomy night. Starts, They are beautiful and dead. Night time, It is peaceful and scary Darkness, it is just a factor in life. With day and night come people, With people come depression and pain. With depression and pain there is death.

I recognized his eyes as soon as he walked through the door, I froze, my mind started racing and my heart started pounding out my chest. I can’t do this right now, not after what he did to me all those years ago. I barely remember it, but I do remember his face. His smooth face with a small mustache and peach fuzz on his chin. His face was etched with deep lines from years of hard living, and yet there was a softness to it that held a deceptive charm. Sometimes it will come back in parts as flashbacks. My dad still doesn’t believe me, he thinks he was the best babysitter. This was because my dad would often blast music, smoke unknown substances, drink, and engage in sexual activities with his girlfriend in the other room. It starts with overthinking, then I get dizzy, and finally I start to have a panic attack. The flashback me again. I don’t remember most of what he did, but I do remember the important part of it. The part that nobody should remember, but will always be scratched in the back of your head. I also remember the good parts. The parts where this guy would bring over alcohol and we would drink together while he was on parole. My dad didn’t think anything about it, he didn’t realize how crazy it was to be having a 17 year old guy on parole. Watching a 9 year old girl who thought that since her dad liked him and trusted him what he’s doing to me is ok. Never again will I let a man do that to me again. He wasn’t the first and he wasn’t the last. My PE teacher was the first guy to do anything to me. I told my school resource officer, my principal, my counselor, and my dad and nobody believed me. I still hear things from kids at those two schools that he’s still doing the same stuff. I hate him I thought he would always win. I’m glad he didn’t win. I recently was informed by my informant(11) who he did stuff to as well, that her friend(9) finally reported him enough times that he was fired. That nigh me and my friend celebrated the achievement. It was the best night of my life. I’m so happy that he will never be able to hurt a kid again.

There’s this tall, handsome, brave, strong, kind, depressed, smart, amazing guy. He holds me while I have mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks. He sees me for me and not who I try to be. He doesn’t know how much he has saved my life, because I have no idea how to tell him. He does so much for me without me having to ask. He knows when I’m sad, even when I don’t tell him. Without him I would have dropped out of school already. I love him so much. I want to marry him and have children with him.

Skateboards Speeding around I love it Falling and getting up Scrapes and bruises mean your stronger I love the pain of it Skateboarding takes away the pain I feel The mental pain then becomes the physical pain The physical pain is better than mental pain I love the feeling when I fall off my skateboard

Some nights I lay silently on the grass and listen to the trees argue, the swings swaying in the wind, and the lighter clicking The howling wind thrashed the trees causing them to bicker “why are your branches hitting me” one tree asked “Because I thought you where hitting me first ” said the other tree “I’m not even trying to” said the first tree “I’m not either” said the second tree “Well I didn’t even realize I was hitting you or you where hitting me until it started to sting” said the first tree “I didn’t realize I was hitting you until you mentioned it first but now that I think about it, yea it does sting.What if we both stop together” said the second tree “Fine but don’t play me” said the first tree The wind was mad day and wanted to make them mad as well but it didn’t work “Why aren’t you stopping” said the first tree “trying I don’t know what’s happening I can’t stop” said the second tree “I guess we will just have to except that it’s not us doing it and we can’t stop it” said the first tree I wish my parents where like that they never just agree or accept fate other nights I lay silently in bed and listen to my parents argue, the tv play, and the thoughts in my head I feel my soft blankets in my comforting bed full of stuff animals and weed My weed my lovely weed I don’t want to be high but I need to I can’t take my parents arguing along with the thoughts in my head with out it We make my parents argue “Why are you spanking our kids” he asked “Because they deserved it” she replied “They never deserve it there kids put them in time out” he replied Either way I’m never alone, I don’t like that The high stops the overthinking, the want to slit my wrist, the want to commit so many felonies, the want to run away, I don’t like that But it’s better for me It’s always better for me and everyone if i can’t hear the voices

I try and try yet I get nothing Fail fail fail all I ever get is failing Yet here we are in this dark box Trying to write something to not be alone It’s not easy in this world Not how we are living right now Yet nobody cares All they want is for us to be better But what they don’t know is they are causing the pain