Dear journal, I wish these feelings would go away. There’s no way it will ever work. Being a teenager stinks as if it's not confusing enough falling for someone doesn't help any. Maybe one day I'll be able to convince myself to forget it. Right now I just need to ignore it. Why would he ever go out with me anyway i’m just his best friends little sister?

-KK

Dear journal, Why can't I tell her how I feel? I love her. Why can't I just tell her? Why would she even go out with me though I'm just her older brother's best friend? She's never showed any interest in dating... Me or anyone else. Maybe I can tell her before I leave for boot camp. -BR

Dear journal, They have both been acting weird lately ever since he told everyone he would leave for boot camp. K started wearing a new necklace with a ring on it, she won't let me see the ring but the glimpse I got it looked familiar.

-MK

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling as I thought Today! The day I couldn’t wait to come and the day I dreaded the most it was here. Boone was here back in the states he landed in Virginia last night he’ll fly in a few hours. How is he going to react? Boone was my best friend I knew him practically inside out I knew his favorite songs what he ordered nearly everywhere we would eat. I could see him as he shot his bow in the barn up at the extension office. He taught me how to drive how to shoot how to slow dance. I knew his secrets I knew him, at least I did. He had been gone the last 9 months first boot camp then a 6 month deployment, was he still they guy I knew? It had only been 9 months but I knew I had changed. And I had now had a secret well what I wanted to be a secret not that I would be able to hide much longer. “Kimber you up yet?” My older brother Myles called. I had moved in with Myles and his wife Molly a few months back after my trip to Dallas. I called back “ yes” “We’re leaving at 11:30” “Okay, I’ll be ready” I called back sitting up in my bed slowly trying to avoid the nausea I knew would come as soon as I got up and moved around. What should I say to him? How was I gonna explain? I picked up my phone from the table beside my bed I had several texts Hope said It’s gonna be okay! I’m praying for you today! Don’t let your anxiety get the better of you today Lexie texted It’s all gone work out today! I’ll be thinking about you all day. The first text I had gotten from Boone in 9 months Good morning beautiful! See you in a few hours 🤟🏻

I took a deep breath Hope and Lexie were right it was all gonna be okay no matter what happened at the airport today one thing could change I had a little one on the way who needed me. I looked in the mirror when I got my jeans on I was starting the show, not a ton I could cover it mostly by wearing a baggy t-shirt. I grabbed one from my closet and finished getting ready, I was headed to see Boone again.

I stood in the middle of the airport Myles and Molly with me along with Boone’s parents Mr and Mrs Rivers and Waylon Boone’s younger brother. We watched the passengers that were arriving, til I finally saw his face. As he got closer my heart beat faster and I felt like I wanted to hide. I might have hidden if I could have gotten my feet to move but they seemed like weights attached to the floor. I leaned against the wall as I watched him make his way to us. His parents and Waylon got to him before he was quite to us. I watched Boone high his mom and dad and younger brother, he talked to them for a few minutes then came to me Myles and Molly hugging both of them. Then it was my turn but I didn’t get a hug he grabbed me and before I could say anything I felt his lips touch mine after that it was a minute or so before I managed to push him away from me and breathlessly I said “Boone stop I have to tell you something” He looked surprised I couldn’t tell if it was because of what I said or if it was because I pushed him away from me I could even tell if he could hear me. “I’m pregnant” “What?” He ask “I...I... I... it happen in Dallas... he ... he... forced me” “Forced? Who?” “I don’t know his name” the tears were now rolling down my face and I felt like running away this was harder than I even thought it would be. “What happen?” He ask as I felt his arms wrap around me to keep me from shaking to much. “He attacked me while I was in the stair well of my hotel” “How long ago?” “Almost three months ago, you should know I did manage to stab him but not til after he...stopped.” “Kimber I’m sorry. So sorry” he said stroking my hair.

BLMartinK

The way a little kid holds a crayon and draws of the paper amazes me. To an adult or teenager it looks like scribbles and crayon marks on a page, but to them it’s a picture of a cow or a dog or an airplane or an American flag, maybe it’s their family or the stray or lost dog that showed up at their house. I got to watch the kids draw and paint today they are so simple they don’t care of perfection or their mistakes if it doesn’t work they way they want it to they draw something else but as young adults it’s hard to do that if I mess up on my watercolor project no matter how good the rest of the painting is all I can see is that one mistake. Today Skylar needed help in her preschool art class, so I skipped my watercolor class and helped her with the bubble art the preschool class was doing. All the kids were under the age of 5. Maya is in Skylars class. I stayed in the class with all 10 kids while Skylar went outside to the basketball court to set up the bubble art. I watched the kids sitting around the table each had a piece of paper in front of them two boxes of crayons they shared. Maya was drawing what looked like the badge she earned in her home and family science class last week. I looked at the paper the class cowboy was drawing a horse and barn. Some on the little girls drew flowers and rainbows, one little boy was drawing a dog. Boone and Waylons cousin was drawing the globe that sat on top of the bookshelf. Nora ask me to help her draw a frog. That needed up in the whole class learning how to draw a frog. Then Skylar texted and said she was ready for the kids. I lined the kids up and we headed out to the basketball court I grabbed my camera so I could get pictures of them doing there art project outside. I watched threw my camera lens as each kids took the cups Skylar had filled with water dish soap and acrylic paint. Some of the canvas had only a few rings of paint where the bubbles popped others were covered in the primary colors blue red and yellow. I loved the way the light hit the bubbles that were strangely colored because of the paint. I took several pictures of those. But my favorite picture was the one of Maya I got right in front of her but 2 yards or so away and got her to look at me and blow bubbles. I got a couple pictures of Skylar helping the younger ones. After the kids were finished with their painting Skylar didn’t have anything planned she thought it would take longer for them to do the bubble paint, but I was glad I grabbed that box of chalk this morning for class because after they were done we got them to stand with their backs to the sun and to play with their shadows then me and Skylar traced their shadows on the concrete.

Girls POV Why did I come on this date with this guy? I said was looked at myself in the mirror of the ladies bathroom this had got to be the worst date ever. He took me to a steak house, and we ended up in the booth beside the bar great. But he was so fake, and stupid most everything he said I could find the tiny or freakin’ huge loop hole he missed, like he really didn’t know I had lived in this town my whole life and knew most everyone here. Sure his family had a lot of money. Don’t get me wrong he was good looking I guess but let’s just say the button up shirt and new cowboy boots were a dead give away. He seriously had to buy and new pair of cowboy boots. I didn’t even know what to think about his outfit, he reminded me of the people that get all dressed up in their boots and jeans and button up shirt that they haven’t worn since the last rodeo they went to. He didn’t have a clue how this town worked. He thought he knew how the whole world worked. I hadn’t heard him call one person in town the right name all night. He called Ruby my youth group leader Rebecca, he called Mr. Roberts who own the small gas station and restaurant on the highway Mr. Robins. He called my best friend Bowie who’s name is Boone like Davy Boone. Maybe some girls thought he was good looking I figure the money his parents had was the main reason girls followed him around like puppy dogs and didn’t seems to mind his intelligence level , another reason I couldn’t figure out why he was so insistent on taking me out tonight. But as far as I was concerned they could have the guy I would much rather have one of cowboys around here who knows how to treat a lady, knows how the world works how this town works and has values. Some girls like champagne and black suits I’ll take some sweet tea and jeans any day.

Guys POV She is such a good two shoes know it all. I thought as I watched he walk to the bathroom. She thinks she knows this town, every time I start a story she interrupts and tries to correct me on unimportant information like people’s names. I don’t want a cowgirl, she seems to think that the people in this town are important. So big deal if she knows how shoot a bow or raise a goat, or make some kind of chicken. And her dad owned that meat shop in town where she worked on weekends. But had she ever been on vacation in Hawaii or Europe had she flown in a private jet? No she was such a country girl. I felt bad for her thought I might try it give her a glimpse of what life should be like, she’s pretty but she’s not as pretty as some of the girls as school, he skins to red and her hairs to dark. It might help if she didn’t wear her hair up in a ponytail or a braid all the time if she wore it down like the other girls she would look a lot different and a little make up wouldn’t hurt. She might even be worth it. Some country boy can have her I stick with the girls that know a thing or two about the world I live in.

He cares about how she looks not what she can do she cares his values and his intelligence. They both seem to care about how the other looks. He seems to think she could look better if she only did certain things she thinks he looks to fake.