I wish I had never let go,

Of the hand that I kept so close.

I wish I had never let go,

Of the seeds of our bond before they could ever grow.

I wish I had never let go,

If I hadn’t, wouldn’t we be more than just foes?

I wish my feelings would come and go, just as the river does when it flows.

As that would show,

My ability to let you go, the soul I hold most close to my own.

One foot after another.

I say again to myself gazing down towards my gait, that has been weakened by the distance.

One foot after another.

I’ve gone too far to turn back and leave this blade on my back the same silver hue as it was, when i first departed to complete this mission.

Even before I started this foot trek, I’ve invested too many seeds of my life to not reap the beneficial harvest that will come from this meritorious deed.

The chill of the autumn wind has yet to blow me away. The leaves turning brighter hues of the sun that hides beneath the mountains, fall to the gravel, only to be crushed into the gray of the rocks by my feet.

I have one goal. Toward the north of my hometown sits a valley. 35 miles north of the valley a long stretch of darkness is buried in the earth. This ravine holds what I desire.

When I was younger my mother and I were traveling through the valley collecting daisies for her garden in the village. While she placed daisies in her basket, I basked around a willow tree with seeping leaves that reached down to shake my little hands.

All was well until, well, the foul beast expelled from its shell of the ravine.

My mother was the first to see it, I don’t know exactly what she saw but it was enough to empower her with enough fear to try and escape with her life and my own. The basket of daisies slammed to the ground, alarming me as I turned around to see her running towards me. I held my arms up ready to be cradled, it was only when she got closer I could see the horror that cradled her face.

The next thing I saw was the beast, looming a few feet above my mother. It appeared as a shadow, black was the only thing I saw for a second as I gazed at it.

Red was the next as it drizzled across my mothers back in 5 wide lines after she fell to the ground.

Her head tilting up caught my attention as she allowed one more sound to leave her lips. “Run.”

I didn’t listen however, the fear overcame my little mind. Confusion spurred through my thoughts clouding my judgement enough to make me feel like this whole thing wasn’t real.

The darkness escaped before I even realized it. My mothers body still lay without a movement and I was still in disbelief. It was only a day later when some of the other villagers found us deep in the valley close to the ravine and took me back home.

I walk by the exact willow tree it happened by telling me I was near the scar in the earth where I was to find this creature. My speed increases, I finally have the chance to end this. It’s been 16 years, I’ve already lost everything the moment I lost my mother what more is there to lose now?

I arrive at the entrance and I step down into the shadows that hide the foul beast of this earth. The sword leaves my back and enters my hand, I’m ready to strike, and purge a light through the darkness.

One foot after another.

I’m getting closer I can feel the suspense.

One foot after another.

My heart trembles knowing I’ll be able to avenge the woman who gave it to me.

The walls of the ravine tend to get further from me as I enter a wider space. In this wider space I see it. The darkness, the very thing that took everything from me. My gait is no longer the same, my stride increases until it looks as if I’m galloping, I swing at the beast and it dodges to the left.

The creature gets far enough behind me to where it’s out of my peripheral and then attempts to slash. I’ve seen this before though and I refuse to see it again. I jump back with all my force toward the creature until my body leans against its own. After I feel it’s abdomen I plunge my sword through my own connecting both of ours. The creature lets out a curdling scream, bursting my ears, however I’m at bliss knowing I received what I came for.

It had been a long time coming, but now I felt I could truly call myself the slayer of monsters.

“Fred, Fred, FRED!” shouted Angel with a ferocious temper, as if he wanted to backhand Fred with a bottle of cheap liquor store tequila. “W-w-what can I help you with Angel?” replied Fred anxiously with a tone so quiet an ants footsteps could drown out his words. “Well you can start off by not being such a weak minded coward and actually saying something during these meetings. Honestly this is a collective decision meaning we ALL need to speak yet you sit there too busy sucking the fingerprint off of your thumb.” “Angel let Fred do what he wants he doesn’t need you shouting at him like your some angry leprechaun trying to protect a pot of gold.” interjected Sadie who was clutching a box of tissues hard enough to damage the tissues on the inside of the box. “What the hell did this crybaby just say to me?” said Angel as he stood up with such an incredible amount of force that the chair he was sitting dropped to the ground and made a loud noise startling Fred who began to panic even more. At this same moment a door in the back of this red room slammed open. The three sitting at the long rectangular table could not see who was on the other side of the door but they already had a genuine idea of who it was. Their suspicions confirmed when they heard the upbeat high pitched chipmunk like voice echo through the room. “Good morning my fellow colleagues.” she said stretching out the letter o in good until she was short of breath. “How are we doing today?” “Shut up Hope and let’s just get this meeting started I’m already sick of this” said Angel with such a disgusted look it was as if he witnessed a feces factory for his first time. Sadie who was wiping the tears away from when Angel called her a crybaby stood up holding a folder resembling the color of fire wood and began reading it out loud. “Okay, so first on our agenda is deciding how our host will react to the passing of their rel-“ Sadie stopped reading and began crying as she always does whenever she reads about someone passing. “ I think this relative would want our host to be happy and not crying, I genuinely don’t like seeing loved ones cry no matter what” stated Hope. “I genuinely don’t like seeing you” replied Angel. “ I’m good for you though, you’re telling me you could survive without me?” “I say we find out, can you go jump off a cliff?” replied Angel. At the same time, Sadie noticed Fred trying immensely to raise his hand so he can speak only for him to change his mind repeatedly bringing his hand down to his lap. “What is it Fred?” asked Sadie. “Oh uhm nothing really I just, well, yeah nothing never mind” Fred said while trying not to meet the eyes of anyone else. “No, no, no, listen here jackass I just got done telling you we aren’t doing that today, what the hell do you want to say?” Angel said while slamming his hand on the table which startled Fred into action. “ Well, I was just thinking maybe we should let our host feel the grief of losing a loved one as it’s important for them to not grow complacent with life.” “ If we let our host disregard mournful feeling they could essentially go numb to even having feelings which means we would probably no longer exist.” stated Fred who was prepared to be yelled at after what he felt was a risky comment. “ Wow Fred, that was so beautifully put I love it, I’m happy you found your voice.” said Hope whose smile hasn’t left her face since the meeting started, “I agree” added Sadie whose eyes haven’t been dry since the meeting started, “I guess I will too so I can go home” spoke Angel whose wrinkles and frown haven’t changed since the meeting started. Fred’s worried look began to change however as he began to smile a little bit and open up his torso a little more to the rest of the feelings. “So it’s decided?” asked Sadie, “ Yes, we will allow our host to grieve their lost one so they may grow stronger allowing us to grow stronger as well” replied Fred. The meeting ended with smiles, tears and frowns, but also with a successful decision.

There I lay, after everything I’ve ever known was taken from me. My reason and devotion for living now disappeared through my hands. Maybe it’s because with these same hands I took too much. Biting the hand was too small for my greed and ego so instead I took the whole arm. Now I have nobody to hold in my arms. Instead my arms and I lay on this green grass, gaunt from the lack of love I’ve introduced to my life. The cost of an arm isn’t bartered with basic currency commodities. The cost is equivalent to a sacrifice, a sacrifice that ends with me even more alone. I have more arms now but I still only have one heart to hear beating, one mouth to speak from and only one set of ears for my words to enter, and these words are my own. My sight is blurry and cold, my cheeks are similarly flushed with a relatively cold feeling. I would like to get up to view my surroundings but I lack all motivation to do it. I’m drained as if the soil under me is absorbing my will to live and turn it into the trees and flowers that surround me. I’ll shut my eyes for now and hopefully awaken in a place full of blissful angels, however I probably belong to the not so happy afterlife option. Anywhere is better than here I suppose. Before I knew it I drifted off into a state of what felt like a nonexistence. I didn’t have any thoughts which is nice because those were the only things in my head prior to dozing off. Not having thoughts meant I had no worries nor regrets. It was truly blissful. Maybe my paradise was with me the whole time, it’s too bad nobody got to experience because I never experienced it for myself. I awaken to the smell of rain. Opening my eyes unveiled a sea of grey painted over the once blue sky. However, this clouded sky shared no similarities with my mind. My mind was clear and concise, on the mistakes I made, not mistakes actually but choices. The reason I say choices is because what may seem like a mistake to one person is the right decision to another. So choices is a better word to describe the actions I partook of that placed me in my current destiny. Rain began to fall right around the tears in my eye began to dry. So here I now lie with more arms than one would need, no longer alone for I have myself like I always have.