There’s something about you holding my hand, Guiding me gently across these rocky lands. We’ve both known heartbreak, and we’ve both known pain, but with you right beside me, I’ll do love again. You’re the knight that I needed, letting me finally rest, When you stand guard, that’s when I see your love best. You speak so gently, never a raised voice, You make me realize that I’ve always had a choice. To have my own opinions and feel the way I do, I’ve never known safety like this way with you. I’ll give you my forever and you’ll do the same, One of these days we will share a last name. Our life will be happy, safe, and warm, You’ll never have to worry about any storm. I will be your protector, your love, and your friend, I will stand beside you until the very end. And when it’s time for the clock to run out, We will have known what love was really about.
From nowhere you burst into my life like a shooting star racing across the night sky. Slowly you began the arduous work of mending a heart you did not break. Every word that escaped your lips a balm for the bruised and bloody wounds so carelessly gifted to me. With your hand in mine I learned to love again. To trust again. In your eyes I saw forever - blissful, peaceful, safe. Each kiss a promise that I’ll never be alone again. Every caress a reminder of my worth. In your arms, I found my home.
You never asked, but I would love to go get ice cream. You never asked, but no, I don’t have plans Friday night. You never asked, but I do love going to the movies but popcorn is a must. You never asked, but my birthday is in March. You never asked, but I do really like you. You never asked, but I would love to go on a roadtrip and jam out to old 90’s music. You never asked, but when can I meet your family? You never asked, but maybe we can spend Christmas together? You never asked, but I can clean out space in my closet for your clothes. You never asked, but maybe we should get a puppy? You never asked, but I’m free for the rest of my life.
If only…
If only I had made the decision to take the scary road instead of the safe one. Where would u have ended up? What would life have turned out to be?
If only I had chosen myself instead of allowing others to put me last. Who would I have been with my own support backing me? Would I be someone I liked?
If only I had been allowed to dream without being told it was pointless. Do you think I’d still believe in them? Could I still believe in them?
If only I had decided not to settle for good enough and kept pushing for better. Would I have ever found it? Would it have made a difference?
If only…
I do not yearn to be in any place long enough to establish roots
If grass grows beneath my feet, I have failed myself
My heart is a wanderer and I must obey her wishes
To wake to the song of birds in a golden autumn forest
To be lulled to sleep to the lullaby of waves crashing on a white sand beach
To sit on mountain tops, taking everything in, and to explore their valley’s and the treasures they hold
I have to see the tide come in on one rocky shore, and out on another
There is a deep need to sit on a bustling city park bench, watching people rush by, wondering where they are headed
I must stroll slowly down a sleepy towns Main Street, looking in all the windows of the small, local shops
I need to stand in the places where they stood, the leaders of the past, the ones who shaped our today and know I am wholly unworthy
I yearn to try the local cuisine
Love is shown through food and I must experience it
I want to dance to unfamiliar music in city squares
I want to see the ruins of the old civilizations, learn the reason for the fall
I must try to bridge the gap, let the world teach me
I will not stop until I’ve seen the bright, shining rays of sunshine peak up over every destination, starting the day
I will not be satisfied until I know what these places look like at sunset, and under the light of a full moon
I cannot stop until I’ve lived a thousand lives, and when I am gone, throw my ashes to the wind, let it carry me to new places, let my journey continue
My heart is an adventurer, and she will never be satisfied
Maybe I don’t belong here. I’ve always been…different. Odd. Eccentric. Peculiar. Never fitting in with those society deemed important with their arbitrary social norms. And maybe that’s for the best. Maybe I’m not meant to be a part of the crowd. Maybe I’m not meant to be the same, just another faceless person in a sea of duplicity. Maybe my destiny is elsewhere, in the infinite vastness of possibility. In a world of varied experiences and diversity. Maybe my greatness lies just over there, past this normalcy and sameness everyone is so content with. Maybe I’m meant for much more. Maybe I’ll go find it. Maybe.
Willingly, I gave every bit of myself to you. I held nothing back. You held me, and began tearing pieces away, discarding them on the floor. To my surprise, I watched as you smiled and crushed bits of me in your hands. Picking me apart. I became small and less of myself. Slowly you broke me, leaving nothing of value behind. The small piece of me that survives must be protected at all costs. Nobody can ever get close again. Nobody can be allowed in. When someone you love destroys you, who’s left to trust?
The door creaks as you walk through, keys and briefcase quickly discarded. Your eyes find me as you turn, already staring back at you.
Pausing, you allow me a moment to take you in - your body, your clothing, but mostly I stare at your face. The culmination of hundreds of people loving each other in years long past.
Do you get your eyes from your mother? Those ever changing, dazzling blues. On happy days they are a shade of azure that melts me. A moody steel when you’re being haunted by memories you’d like to forget.
Your nose, Grecian and defined, provides the perfect symmetry to your features. Did that belong to your grandpa? Or maybe a long since forgotten aunt?
High cheekbones that gracefully blend into your sharp jaw and chin. Did those belong to your father?
As you come closer, I reach for you and you smile. My favorite part -those beautiful lips. Soul meets soul on the lips of a lover. I wonder who gifted you these.
As you pull me close, I take one last look before you kiss me. How beautiful it is to see everyone who made you staring back at me.
I silently thank the gods for the love of your ancestors. The aged ones who created you simply by loving each other. Every decision made led to the creation of this deity now staring back at me.
Who do I thank for you?
