the familiar vanished into the darkness with me left behind

nightmares turned daymares, only distinguishable by time-

the same time that told me it could heal but was now nowhere to be found

faded memories and jaded futures chased me until my heart was out of breath

unable to outrun this emotional death

held down and crushed, the only offer was for me to abide

why hast thou betrayed me and left me forsaken; I thought you were on my side

My eyes close, and all I see is white. Your glorious light shines bright, and I’m mesmerized by Your beauty.

My past becomes my present but feels more like my forever future.

I’m starstruck, as I shake hands with those who have led the way.

Knowing this point in time was tailored just for me. Excited to get all my questions answered finally.

What a wonderful journey to have brought me here, to the place I can call my own. For God has called me home.

If I stopped writing you, would you pen me down, force my hand to revise my plan, or would you scribble me out of your page forever?

No need, because you are the author of my happiness, the composer of my dreams.

No way I could erase you from my life as if you were never even printed.

Second drafts try for my attention, but who needs rewrites when I have you?

You are my sign from God that we were meant to create forever.

The life of a caterpillar makes me think of the life of a human accepting Jesus.

Before: slimy, mindlessly meandering through life. After: light, beautifully soaring through love.

Never had I known her to echo my needs and desires. Caressing parts of me I didn’t even know could be touched and inspired.

Nor existed.

She whispers words that penetrate my soul, creating wholeness in the midst of brokenness.

Nature has become an exquisite lover, and I wonder how I ever lived life without her.

I saw her once and that’s all it took for me to become smitten by her androgynous look

Her infectious smile brought life to my senses her unique style was no match for my heart’s defenses

(The rush is real when you want to feel your crush for real.)

Keeping her a fantasy is a must given my situation except I had one too many disclosed my desire with no hesitation

It was subtle, tho perhaps she will not notice offering me time to refocus and figure out this woman’s purpose

Written from a space of: the last time I would see her - the love of my life.

——

My body tightens and I feel the intense climax of our intense journey Instead of the anticipation of the deep exhale I wonder how long I can hold my breath until tears turn into rivers

I blinked and here we stand Can’t turn back now I frantically want to hold on while frantically letting go this paradox is the only way I’ve learned to cope Please unconfuse me

What great blessings lie ahead Which great memories will fade Not sure I’m ready to find out this way Gravity has become my foe pushing me unwillingly into fray I’m grasping for air

Breathe. Let nature take its course Not like I have a chose But the path I do choose let it be mine and mine alone Each breath intertwined with my heart; Lord, be with me

all eyes on me

ready to see, feel, hear the words bouncing off the mic

into the crowd a piece of me to be shared

give permission for ears to enter my soul

take control for this brief dramatic moment

I am all yours you are all mine our hearts intertwined

as we dance to the same beat my beat

inhale deeply exhale slowly I am ready

to take center stage

As I looked into your eyes, I saw my future go up into flames.

It was a look I had not seen before, so I took my time to analyze it. To be sure.

Never in my worst nightmare would this be my reality. Unfortunately, the premonition was real.

Manifested itself two months later.

I desperately wish you’d kept your eyes closed.