Walk on the spot. Lean to the left, no that’s too far. Keep going. Stay in the middle. Okay now stop. Bend your knees and wait. Wait. Make sure you’re balanced. Wait. Now stand back up. Almost there don’t fail now. Last few steps. You did it. Now let’s see the score. . . . You didn’t even make it on the leaderboard. Well time to try again I guess.
Take a sip, take a sip, take a sip. Now I may speak. Remember your manners. Smile. That was a joke, laugh politely. Be perfect. If I am good I can live like this forever. I shall be porcelaine like the other women at this table. Only say what everyone wants to hear. Be pleasant. Ignore how he speaks to me. Listen to what my mother told me. When I am but a doll I won’t have to feel this. Frozen in this beautiful moment, perfectly content, perfect looks, perfect for him, perfect. Be perfect.
Fuck consequences. She has to learn the word no. No more excuses.
They still ignore me. Like I am the villain here. Did they ever care.
I remain bitter. Why am I always second. Am I that worthless.
I’ve found better now. I did deserve someone else. That hear me say stop.
I saw them today. They haven’t learned, but I don’t care. We aren’t friends, just end.
All Sila could see was the war. When she charged forward sword in hand, there was a soldier running towards her as well. It was either her or them, no mercy could be given. As her enemy fell at her feet she saw the chosen one, fighting against three soldiers at once.
“I must aid him”. She decided as she ran to help him. “The revolution will crumble if he does not return”.
She attacked the nearest one, disarming them but before she could finish them they ran off.
“Thank you for the assist Sila”. He said grateful to only be fighting one soldier now. “No need to thank me Marid”. She responded, as her enemy fell down.
Both of their enemies now defeated, they try to catch their breath before joining back into the fight. Before they can recover completely Sila sees a glimpse of silver and hears the sound of an arrow flying through the air.
Without thinking she pushes Marid out of the way, tackling them to the ground. She checks Marid for injuries but as her eyes meet his she feels an overwhelming pain in her side.
“It looks as if I was not quick enough”. She says weakly, rolling off him and onto the ground.
“Sila stay with me please”. He pleaded with her as if it was her choice. “I can’t lose you”.
“Do not worry you were saved and that is all that matters”. She says quietly, feeling her strength starting to fade. “The revolution needs you, I am ready to give my life for it”.
“But I need you, Sila I love you”. Marid tells her. She is confused for a second but it is quickly overwhelmed by pain. She knew that he was attached to her but she didn’t know to that extent, she didn’t feel the same but that didn’t matter now. “Im not going to see the end of this battle but I can die happy as long as I know that you will finish this”. Her vison begins to fade to black and she knows her time is limited. “Finish this for me”. She knows she shouldn’t say this without meaning it but she needed him to do this. “I love you too”. Sila no longer saw the battle, the sounds of death surrounding her were nothing compared to volume of the silence.
She felt the nothingness take over as she took what she knew would be her last breath.
Notes passed in class to talk without being heard.
Greetings yelled across the street to be seen by the other.
Confessions spoken quietly under a tree waiting to be returned.
Words of love said to each other for the first time, they are not alone.
Vows read in front of friends and family but they are only aware of the other.
Texts sent waiting for their love to return.
Silence as loud as a scream as they sit across the room hoping that this is not the end.
Final whispers wandered away without a care as they walked away, one heart now split in two.
“Ummm, where the fuck am I?” The young women asked aloud, despite no one being there to answer.
“Honestly I’m wondering the same thing” said a voice behind her. She turned around to be met with a ghost. “Holy shit, am I dead” she said as she looked closer at the ghost. The spirt appeared to be female and looked like she was monochromatic, almost transparent. The ghost had long hair and was wearing a long plain dress. She also was wearing a small brown beaded bracelet on her left wrist, the only part of her that had colour.
“Nah you don’t look dead”. The floating women answered. “Names Emily, and you?”
“I’m samera.” She replied.
“We’ll it’s a pleasure to meet you samera.” Emily held out her see through hand holding her bracelet for samera. “I hope to see you again very soon.”
When waiting seconds feel like minutes. When waiting in the cold you can feel your hp going down. One by one, slowly. -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp -1 hp You wonder if the knock was loud enough. You wonder if they care enough. Are they home, quickly please. Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock How long has it been since you got here. How long will you stay here. Should you return, soon you decide. 1 2 3 4 5 It’s them, you can hear them, you see them through the door. You smile at each other.
Until finally the chill stopped.
I can feel the changes going on in this prison. The chair that I sit on for hours has lost its colour, now a grey when it was a brown before. The eyes look far more dead without their false colours, acting as if the eyes were normal. I do happen to prefer the fleshy walls not being that gross fleshy pink, now it is much less unsettling to simply have my eyes open.
I suppose it does make sense to have lost the ability to see colour, I’ve already lost everything else. I already am mono why not be monochromatic. I’m all alone.
Someday they will comeback, although it won’t be the same. Maybe this one’s fate will be different then the rest, perhaps then I will be able to be at peace and calm my rage. But until then I will put on my hat and take more colours away, one by one by themself.
I watched as they all laughed together. I wished I could join them without them driving me away. They seem so happy. I want to be happy. I want to dance with Ocarina at night under the stars. I want to listen to Zuku talking for hours about his favourite book. I want to sleep next to Ella and watch her breath. I want to play video games with them on the couch all together.
Why can’t they see. I love them so much. I just want to love them.
They now have added someone new. I hate his guts. It should be me not him.
If they weren’t going to love me,
They aren’t going to love anyone else.
Every night you lie in bed, right next to me. Every morning you wake up, all alone. Every meal you eat, i’m at the window. Every time you check, no one is there. Every friend you have, will be mine too. Every enemy you have, is gone tomorrow. Every thing you do, makes me fall for you. Every where you go, you’ll be safe. Every letter you get, says we will meet soon. Every time you call, I’ll be there for you.
