it started with one a replacement something old with something new something better something intelligent
and i felt comfortable i could rely, depend on this one change
then it was another one and still i was calm content to comply happy to oblige what’s one more?
three more rearranged i started feeling cramped was it the cold steel against my wooden walls was it the monotone voice replacing the laughter of my children?
2 years and 7 more improvements i feel like im in a dome an echo chamber but i can’t seem to hear my own voice and when i do it comes out ragged and emotionless
my car’s stopped working i’ve no use for it any longer no where to go when all i need is here at least that’s what they’ve told me the throat stuffers and my first-born
15 years and there’s nothing left actually i have everything and nothing all together grey litters my home and it’s infected my bones
when i die let me rest with the gardens that once bloomed years before we chose the color of nature based on an impossible aesthetic.
from my limited perspective it all looked the same tiny specks of white littered the night sky
to my ignorant mind it all felt the same the measures of distance too grand and puzzling
in the unforgiving darkness straight ahead the stars’ light smothered by tall buildings and false clouds
in that daring alleyway just over my shoulder choking and croaking snickering and bickering
it all becomes too familiar and i hear my mother’s voice “the daytime possesses eyes” and the nighttime no longer
a story i’ve heard a million times the stars distant witnesses whereas long ago they were eyes akin to daytime’s sun
with that, i take off desperation clinging to the stars the Moon only a sliver of the sun and yet just as mesmerizing
a reflection of the sun it’s dim comparison granting tolerable access but our final meeting is brief
and as red runs the street, harmony follows distance.
it was born of beauty this most gentle affection almost at a painful pace i’d melt at his mere mention
he’d buy my coffee as whispers fill the air he’d lie next to me his consideration so rare
i forget all of history’s mistakes as i cross today’s date an end to constant heartbreaks and a silent prayer for peace
peace i am owed for his treacherous words love i have bestowed while he is far far away
lost in the fog alone in the deep bound by a promise that he couldn’t keep.