“Knock knock”, the security guard knocks on the glass, scaring the shit out of us. We look at each other, terrified from the knock, but moreso that either of us might have changed our minds about wanting each other desperately.
Zach fumbles through promising the security guard he would leave the parking lot. I’m certain he wasn’t expecting a couple of our ages making out like we were, which was fair, because we didn’t expect to get caught making out in a parking lot, either.
Rewinding back a few hours, I suppose I knew we would kiss that night. I knew I wanted to desperately, and I think he did too.
Zach waited for me to get done working, I skipped along excitedly toward him, while he made space for me in his truck. with a bench seat great for initiating touching and not so good at attempting any sort of restraint, we sat. We sat with our bodies touching each other the in the most way possible. We chatted and giggled and fell a little harder and fell right into that cinnamon kiss. His lips are so full and soft. His hands gripping my face like I never want it to end but then…
Start again
I start my day the same way every day. My alarm rings, and so does my husbands’, a warning that our time together is ending soon, as we push tighter into each other to steal the skin to skin contact while we can. The minutes pass as I slowly lower my standards. Do I really need to wash my hair? I showered yesterday, it’s not like a stink! But time kept marching on either way, and as usual, I’ve put it off until the last minute. I quickly throw on some jeans, a black tank with a black and white jacket that made me look respectable, especially compared to most of the people downtown. I threw on some large hoop earrings, slick my hair back and drew some lips on, in a deep red - you know this is your color.
I take that last look in the mirror before we rush out to the car in a way that made it feel like we were excited about where we were going.
We weren’t.
Dread is a much more apt way to describe where I’m headed. As I sit on the phone, trying to memorize funny jokes as I page through
