I got a advice a while ago on a poem of mine I asked for feedback, and they gave it to me; They told me to get away from the rhyming scheme. So with this advice in mind, I write this poem Of course I’ll still add a rhyme or two; Just to make it fun for you, But I’m not Dr. Seuss. I’m simply just someone who likes to write Who now just realized It’s bad to rhyme too many times.
Slam I closed my car’s door when I got out, I started walking towards her. She was on the front of her car, one leg close to her, the other stretched out. Her arms support her as she admires the sunset, while I admire her.
“____!” I called out her name, she looks back and smiles,
“Hey ____, you wanted to see me?” Her voice is soothing, I’m entranced by her beauty. As if she was a siren, but does that mean it’s my doomsday?
“Yeah.” I say nervously, I couldn’t maintain eye contact so I looked to the ground. When I looked back she had her lips slightly opened, and her head slightly tilt; gesturing that she was confused.
I walk to her car and she jumps off,
“What is it?” She asks.
I took a deep breath and got the words that has been stuck in my stomach, it finally puked itself out, out the obstacle in my throat; the three words. She was speechless,
“I know it’s difficult for you to answer on the spot, that’s why I ask for a letter…” I said hesitantly, “A letter?” She chuckles, in a comforting way.
“That way; you can write everything you feel, or…anything you don’t feel.” I explained. “Well alright, why not?” She agreed, I lit up with excitement, but behind that was fear.
“Is there a due date?” She grins, I laughed and answered, “No, I would wait forever if I had to.” She’s shocked and speechless for a split moment, but smiles the next.
“You speak of forever as if you know it like a friend.” We laugh at her remark, but I guess we’re both laughing at me.
“Right now all I feel is forever,” I smiled, “But I would prefer it if you gave it to me by the end of this week…” I continued in a joke-like tone, she laughed.
The letter
“I love you” The words you told me too soon. Well I love you too, but not the same as you do. There’s many different kinds of love; The one for views: Like a sunset The night sky Or someone who means something to you. You can fall in love with an idea: A Fantasy A Dream Or someone you create in your head. There’s the sad love: Snow, beautiful but cold Someone that you dread An obsession, you cannot hold.
Of course there are more, But I can only fit so much on this paper You must be wondering; What love do I feel for you? It’s the kind of love where I want to love If that makes sense. I do love you, I love looking at you; as if you are a view. I love the idea of us, the one I create in my head. But I hate that you’re only an obsession; Someone I can’t hold. I can’t love you, not the same way you do But I want to. Unfortunately I lack the ability to feel romantic love It’s a curse, Yet a shield too, Or could it be a jail? Preventing me to say “I love you” Because my heart is scared But then again, they say you have to take risks if you want something. But I don’t love you enough to risk it And I want you; Just not enough.
The reply
You say you don’t love me enough to risk it So what have you got to lose? I know I sound pushy And I’m sorry for that But I just want you to know That you will always be enough Standing by you Loving you, like you’re a warm sunset Thinking of you, you’re my dream that hasn’t come true Wanting you, but I cannot hold you; Not the way I want to. All of this, I am okay with; As Long I’m with you, I will remind you that I love you.
Her reply
I can’t risk it I don’t have anything to lose now But what if when I fall And you break down all my walls I will be hurt Crashing into the ground because of love? The idea of being vulnerable The risk is too high The responsibility is too much I can’t imagine myself doing such.
In person reply
Why do you think it’s called “Fall in love” When you fall I promise you won’t be hurt I will catch you and hold you close You can become someone I can hold.
“No”
Fire on fire Causes chaos; An Inferno. Negative with negative Makes a positive; An answer. I wondered in the beginning that since We’re both “toxic” What does that equal? I figured since people said love Includes taking risks; Just like in business It can succeed If we kept trying. So how come, no matter how hard we tried We did more harm than good. It doesn’t make sense how much I want you Even though we’re not good for each other. Every second being with you was like poison Except it was in my favourite drink So I ignored the pain, that was slowly and silently killing me. But if you were the poison And I just kept drinking you I was draining you, wasn’t I? I knew we were toxic for each other It’s unfortunate the answer for this isn’t a Positive; But if we separate we will be better. So in a way, this is a happy ending for the both of us.
Since I was thirteen; I always wanted money. The idea of being rich Was my greatest fantasy. Now I’m living my dream, Big house Big yard But no family. I am alone in my dream. I thought having lots of money was all I wanted. That being rich, was better than being poor? So why do I sit at the end of the dock And think “I still want more.” I could blame it on my human nature; Say “oh it’s just one of my flaws” Since I was thirteen I wanted this dream; Now that dream has come true, But can this new one too?
A few days ago I asked for feedback On a poem of mine. So I received an advice; I rhymed too much, Such a fine poem though. It’s ironic that this prompt is about Rhyming. But even though I have to rhyme It still sounds weird when I do it all the time.
A few days ago I gave some feedback On a poem I read So here’s what I said; “The poem is fine There’s just too much rhymes” Something along those lines. I just wanted them to know they rhymed all the time.
I’m tired of rhymes.
I don’t want to leave; The thought of walking away, Leaving you astray Believe me; I want to stay. But I can’t It’s for our own good; So after this dance I have to go Before I change my mind Being stuck in your trance.
Please understand; I didn’t want it to go this way. I’m wielding a blade and I can’t protect you with this weapon The only shield I can give you; Is that I walk away. So let’s take in this second And dance this night today.
The moment you close your eyes To the time they open You will realize that I’ve been feeding you lies. I am broken I’d only cut you if I had stay. So please don’t cry, Enjoy these nights And let me die From the back of your mind.
Everyday is the same I do the work I get the pay Then I wait For the end of my days; But lets say my “end” came Would I be okay? My final thoughts would be regrets Of things I didn’t change. This is my car, why aren’t I driving it? Why aren’t I guiding it? That changes today, Although I say that everyday; This time is different, for I had learn something different. If I do not know how to guide I first must know how to navigate Once I learn how to do that I will next learn how to drive; Safely so I won’t disintegrate, I crash into a wall, I have to pursuit further and stand tall. I’ll just have to change my route, that’s all.
In order to feel alive, I have to thrive; not just survive. For I am still here; Steering my car, Living my life. Now that I have sorted this out My negative thoughts and doubts; It’s final whispers wandered away without care, looking for someone who isn’t all there.
Life is full of insipid- A dull feeling. A state of nothing But that’s something isn’t it?
I’m not whole, I’m missing a piece. The piece you stole from me; Pulled the sheets right beneath my feet. There is a hole inside me.
I am without you How ironic; I didn’t know losing someone, Meant losing a part of you too.
