Shuffling feet Fidgeting hands Pursed lips Tired eyes
Two people One has everything to say The other doesn’t know how to hear it
Her Lingering pain From years of being too much She learned not to speak it But her brain didn’t learn to not remind her
Him Fearful of connection Of feeling So he hides his emotions in gin And hopes laughter is enough
The silence that comforts him Is killing her.
Imagine the most ugly creature and your mind will jump to the things of nightmares. The alien, the demon or the monster under your childhood bed. But none of those scare me.
The ugliest creature lives inside me. It claws at the concept of who I believe I am. It tells me I’m not good enough. Not strong enough. Not enough for my friends and family. Never enough.
It is my inner critic and it is cruel. Moments of bliss have whispers of defeat. Moments of beauty are shaded grey. And when I can’t sleep - that is when it is the most loud.
It is repulsive. It is hideous. It is me.
And as the waves return to the sea So the words give way to silence I can’t spend my whole life questioning Just who it is I should be ... People say I should be a mother A lover A caregiver But my bones yearn to be free ... Moments in life where I give way to the current Are moments where I feel most at ease Not pushing or pulling myself Simply letting myself breathe ... So I sit In silence Waiting for my soul To give way to the silence surrounding And return to the sea Its rightful home.
