He walked into class on the first day late. She had her head hung low pretending to write in her notebook to try and not get noticed by anyone. She heard a clumsy mess rush in the room and couldn’t help herself from giggling. He looked like he was lost beyond compare and it intrigued her. She shifted in her seat pretending not to care but snuck a look in his direction. Had to be a coincidence that he was seated next to the window where the sun was shining on him. Dang he was fine. Their eyes met and he smiled and she had this weird feeling inside her. It was like she was a cauldron and witches were brewing something inside. Every time their eyes met after that she felt like she was in a movie. Everyone else was a side character that was irrelevant and he and her were the only two in the scene. Never failed that he made her feel something new and scary. He would send her a text and she swore she sprouted wings. His hand grazed hers and she swore her lungs stopped breathing. He sat next to her in class and she pretended they were on a date. This boy made her crazy and turned her into someone she was not. Her favorite color turned from black to pink and she didn’t even realize. She stopped wearing oversized sweatshirts and actually wore form fitting shirts. She didn’t know what was going on but she didn’t really hate it either. The unknown always scared her but this unknown was safe. The one thing she could never do though was talk to him because even looking at him made her freeze. He definitely was a wizard who put a spell on her. The one day she saw him with her best friend and that was the moment she met her new best friend: depression. The pink turned to black, the floating became sinking, the smiles returned to frowns, the bubbling warmth turned to hallow dampness. One thing stayed true though: her heart was never the same.
An ode to my fuzzy blanket. You add weight to my body that I’m not ashamed of. You add unanxious solace to my mind. You add warmth to my soul. You are the home away from home. You are my companion that dries my tears and the one that protects me from my fears. Thank you oh fuzzy blanket. Thank you.
Steph heard her phone ring across the room and felt the vibration of her watch on her wrist. She looked down at her wrist and saw the name across the screen “call from Kern”. She went through the five stages of grief all within half a second. She didn’t know why he was calling, she thought he was done with her. She didn’t know if she should answer because she thought it would make her heart hurt. She was pissed of that he thought he could just call and she would answer. She told herself that if she answered then she might feel the temporary happiness he always brings her. Her depression and anxiety were on stand by ready to take over any second. She finally picked up and he went off. Not in an angry way but in an unstable way. He just started rambling and going about everything going wrong in his life and she couldn’t even get a word in. She didn’t know how long this call would take so she went up to her room to get cozy in her bed because after all that’s where you’re meant to dream. She sat and listened to him and tried to process everything this dump truck released. When she thought he was done she told him to breathe with her and they just took deep breaths for 5 minutes. Kern slowed down and admitted he didn’t know what to do with his life and Steph just nodded and said that was okay. He didn’t like to hear what she said and he had to leave to go for dinner with his family anyway. He hung up and Steph just sat in her bed. A weight was lifted off of her. He never wanted her the way she wanted him and she accepted that now. He just needed someone to listen and she appreciated that he chose her, even if he tried 7 other people first. She thought he was doing great without her and that she was the only one drowning. She hated to admit it but seeing him break down made her feel comfortable that he was human. Her breathing became calmer and her muscles untensed. She was going to be okay. She got the closure she needed. It wasn’t the closure she hoped for but it would do. She felt one of her emotional walls break and decided it was time to try and find someone new. She texted someone who had been interested in her for a while and asked them out to coffee. She was going to be okay.
Every morning I wake up to your eyes gazing at me with so much adoration and your breathing so quiet. You place a kiss on my head and I already know what’s going to happen next but you make it still feel like a surprise. The same day with you is like a million days new and I’m no longer mad about it.
Youth has a twin named nostalgia. The long car rides where you’d fall asleep in one state and wake up in another. The bumps and boo boos that hurt as if your entire body will collapse but really all you need is a bandaid. The adrenaline rush you get when you get to pick out what cereal to buy. The feeling of floating when your crush talks to you and acknowledges your existence. The thump your heart makes when that same crush gets in a relationship without you, how dare they. The heavy emptiness you feel when a test gets thrown in front of you. Youth has a twin named nostalgia and they’re both missed… some days.
Sitting in the audience in a very uncomfy chair I wasn’t paying attention to the stage because I didn’t really care.
This hot man asked for my name and my number Then he walked away and I thought what a bummer.
The loud speaker was talking My fingers on tinder were walking.
“Allison Nun you have won!” The whole crowd cheered “Oh what fun!”
My head snapped up All I could say was “but but”
The hot man from before Was laughing on the floor.
I walked to the stage Trying to act unfazed.
I shook the hand of the loud speaker My knees had never felt weaker.
The hot man used my information To enter me in a competition at the space station.
I open my eyes and I’m in this beautiful room, I just don’t know what this room is or why I’m here. I’m looking around to see if I can get a clue of my whereabouts but I got nothing. I hear little footsteps running around and I freeze. Whoever I hear I don’t want to know I’m awake. The footsteps are getting closer and I’m starting to sweat. The layout of this room is not something I’m familiar with yet so I don’t know where a good spot to hide is. The door swings open and this little girl is charging at me and my feet won’t move and I’m terrified. “Hi grandma” she says as her arms wrap around me. “I’m sorry but I think you have the wrong person” I say back to her. “Oh I’m so sorry” she says with tears bubbling in her eyes. She looks hurt and I didn’t even touch her so I couldn’t have hurt her. A woman runs in the room and grabs the little girl “I’m so sorry” the woman says as she and the girl hurriedly run out. They think they’re whispering but I hear the little girl say “she doesn’t remember today momma” and the woman respond with “I’m sorry baby, it’s not you, grandma is sick”. They must be the one who’s sick because they have me mistaken for someone else. I can’t be a grandmother if I don’t even have kids of my own. I’m way to young to even think about having kids let alone grandkids. Where am I? I am supposed to be on a flight to Quebec. What is going on?!?!?!
I look in your eyes and I see the fear of life and the wonder of life and the the beauty of life and the ugly of life and I just see so much life inside your eyes. Your eyes hold the key to my life and that’s you. I don’t think I have ever been more in love with you than in this moment but I do know in the many more moments to come I’ll just keep feeling more and more love for you and I’m so ready for it. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you all this but it’s definitely on my mind. “Drop the gun; I’m here for you” I said to you and you just smirked your sly little smirk and ran. “THATS IT NO MERCY!!!!” I yelled after you turning the corners of our new house with a water gun in hand. “YOU’RE MINE!!” You screamed back to me as you jumped over the couch trying to hit me with your water gun. You missed me and I jumped over to land next to you. I looked in your eyes and you shot me and giggled and I grabbed your face and placed a kiss on your nose. Yep I picked the right one.
Little Salley Lou Never tied her shoe Even though she was always warned to.
One day Little Salley Lou went for a skip down the street When the bottom of her shoe and her lace decided to meet And she finally tripped over her feet.
Now once Little Salley Lou fell She decided she would never tell But would just retreat into her shell.
Little Salley Lou once again untied a shoe But was extremely cautious it made her face turn blue. Sometimes it’s better to have a redo.
