A trickle of something old spills gently forth Little green buds, chartreuse and hopeful The top soil of my heart softens Words on and off the page beckon A great care rises up within me and - The birds speak to me once more! The great thaw has begun Encapsulated in permafrost no longer, I jump Too quickly Loves, obscured and vibrant tussle for my action! I can do them all! Well one at a time.

I’ve hurt more than I care to admit My eyes have wandered Loved ones time squandered In suffering I’m ccomplicit

But, perhaps a new day glows Im not meant to see All that is meant to be The door the the past, I hesitate to close

I wildly press my knuckles into my ears Like a children’s Tylenol syringe Squishing out every last drop of sound All air is sucked out, with a zhooop A near perfect vaccum, and Frozen I feel no surrender but I no longer fight For a time All is omitted I wait in the silence In nothing I wait Nothing

A crisp autumn day We ran a 5K, or walked I was unprepared So welcomly caught off gaurd Your soft hand enveloped mine.

I miss her With every waking breath And every little death She’ll remind me I can’t locate a conifer Then probably call me a jovial slur She’ll want to ramble about the Black Death And call me a fool for forgetting Macbeth These are the daily affections I incur I wish to kiss That beautiful miss And hold her all night Every caress floors me How lucky can I be That incredulous nerd is Just. Right.

I see the words shuddering on the page Timless words, holy, thru an age I’ve had enough of this toil and strife What will I do with my will and life

Scalding and sputtering my fingertips blister and bubble A cloud fills the air as I drizzle all too quickly I scrape with and unforeseen resentment And plop Coffin like, into a aluminum box Then straight into a 400 degree incinerator it goes My coffee cake

Taking a deep breath in and out Closing my eyes to the cool water Maybe this time, It will be deep enough And it the right spot Blinded by a primal dizziness I cannot See the other side I know it’s there Don’t I? My boiling blood cools to its Usual itchy temperature Two degrees too warm Straining my bloodshot depelted eyes skyward I beg I crawl before no one But here I am on the ground craving

She’s the one that holds me together Softly nestled againt my heart Always The way she lifts here non existent eyebrows Intangibly, as if to say “Is that right?” A protector Beacon of Humility in a sea of avaricious atrocity A bean A bell A lightbulb She’s all I really need

My darting shaking eyes can’t seem to realize Nothing has happened Nothing will happen Nothing ever happens The Yank toward the Precipice, dulled Churning, roiling, my lungs, Hold me back I’m not there yet Will I be? Can I be? Have I ever been? I cannot do another day at a time, Ask me again in a week.