I never was an early riser, but that day that morning for you I was
My eyes opened before the sunlight hit my sleepy eyelids
The morning driving to donuts to watch the planes fly high in the sky before the sun came alive
Streams of light spilling across the dashboard into the front seat across your eyes
A smile with teeth but from you that was never a surprise
I was never an early riser, but that day that morning for you I was
My eyes blinked away the sleep in them to the sound of raindrops
The morning running to my car in the dark as rain fell into my hair, on my face, in my eyes
Red lights glimmering off the wet pavement as I drive because to walk into a cozy coffee shop only to sit back in the rain with you and a steaming cup of coffee felt a lot more like rest than sleep ever did
I was never an early riser, but that day that morning for you I was
My eyes wanted to stay shut but they popped open and blinked away the jet lag to the sound of an alarm and a hush from the top bunk every creak and tiptoe and breath heard as I snuck outside trying my best to remain unheard trying to somehow stay on high alert
Cold air hit my face as I walked and it felt like a race to walk as the morning sun peeled across the field and sitting on a concrete slab in the middle of nothing and everything watching the hot air balloons paint the sky with flecks of color
Sitting under the colored sky limbs gently entangled hot tea resting next to me in awe of all the things we might get a chance to see before we die
I was never an early riser, but you were so I was that day that morning for you I’d have been anything
“Take it all!” She screamed at the sky Time is ticking by Time would soon say goodbye
There she would be Time would have ticked by There she would be, screaming up at that same sky
Teardrops Telescopes Thermometers and throats Telegraphs and talks Taco times and Tuesday nights Tarps and tents Talents and tea Tantalizingly beautiful was he
They were taintless & talkative
Tik tok goes the clock
Talk after awhile crocodile
To never speak again time said
Tik tok goes the clock
Til death do us part, the only words they never once said
They didn’t need words when it came to each other.
They lived in a silence that left them feeling known.
The kind of silence like when your too tired or too sad to voice the words.
The kind of silence that is usually met with awkward, “it’ll be okay’s” and “I promise it’ll get better’s”.
The thing about silence is people run from it. They do the best to fill it with empty words, and half hearted smiles.
That’s why their bond was sacred. They never tried to fix each other. They didn’t use words. A simple glance in to their eyes and they knew, like they always knew.
It wasn’t okay, but they were okay with it. So they sat.
And without words they were comforted by each others silence.
Some beauty you can only see in the dark. The raw unapologetic kind.
There’s vulnerability in darkness, and only the lucky ones get to bare witness. The unafraid ones.
The ones who will stop at nothing to feel the darkness envelop them, in hopes of getting a glimpse of the stars.
Some say vulnerability looks a lot like darkness. But… Don’t you think, vulnerability looks a lot like stars?
They’re still shining when there’s nothing left to light up the world around them?
Now that’s beautiful.
Her room looked a lot like her mind And if you knew her, you knew that.
It was chaos, while others said, “it’s symbolic”
Symbolic of the chaos I suppose
Like her mind she knew where to find all that was tucked away
She knew where the secrets were buried, and could tell you exactly where to find them
She never would
So they’d look at it and tell her, “just clean it”
While she’d look at it, the mess she’d created of not only her mind but her life I suppose
And tears would stream down her face, and she’d will herself to, she’d shove the mess in closets, and corners, and under the bed.
And just like the mess in her room, her secrets would get shoved deeper in the closet of her soul
And she’d them to go away
And to everyone else it did
The mess was gone
All that was left was her own sad secret song and the only one left to see the mess was her
“Why do you think so many people don’t want love?” The young boy asked
“Love is what people want in this lifetime, even the ones that think they’re better off without out it are in search of it.” The old man replied
“But how can you be so sure?” The young boy questioned
“They look for it in the things they haven’t lost hope in yet.” The old man said staring out at the sea
“What kinds of things?” The boy wondered aloud
“The way waves kiss the shore is enough for some, but it’ll never be enough for these people. The waves always return back, abandoning the shore that it once clung to.” The old man said eyes full of unshed tears
The boy stared into the old mans gray eyes thoughtfully.
“There are the people who look at the way the waves kiss the shore and only remember the way love leaves us; empty, wanting, alone.” The old man continued
“So do we love them then? I mean, if they say they don’t want love?” The young boy questioned
“These are the people we love the hardest. They’re the people that have had there hearts broken too many times. The people who once loved with wild abandon, and reckless hope.” The old man said staring out at the angry ocean and the skies that had begun to darken
“Do they ever decide to love us back? The people who have had they’re hearts broken?” The young boy asked sadly
“Some do, and the some that do will love you fiercely. They’ll love you until the day you die, because they know what it’s like to go on in a life without love, and some my sweet boy don’t. Some hearts have been shattered beyond repair in they’re own eyes, it’s not worth the risk of being in more pieces..”
The young boy had tears streaming down his face creating streaks in the dirt that covered his face.
“Once you understand this, you can never go back. Do you understand?” The old man asked gruffly, as if saying the words made his heart break a little himself
“I understand.” The young boy said sure of himself, wiping away his tears. “And everyday I’ll love those people with wild abandon, and reckless hope, to remind them they’re worth being loved in this lifetime.”
The old man smiled out at the waves, remembering all times he’d decided he didn’t need love, and all the times the young boy with sweet eyes, and a dirt covered face reminded him, without even knowing it.
That’s magic, the old man thought.
She left her heart on the floor in front of you that day. The day you decided not to love her. The day you decided your life was better without her in it. The day you looked at her heart on the floor, looked her in eye, and turned around and walked away. She left herself there too, because home is where the heart is and you decided you didn’t want to be her home anymore. She left her lungs, and with them her air. She didn’t know how to breathe anymore, and the worst part.. The worst part was that you walked away with your heart in your chest, and lungs that still took in air, and eyes that weren’t broken. You left with eyes that were relieved you didn’t love her anymore.
