What if where you happened to grow up has the moniker sin city ? Is that somewhere you would consider starting a family ? The city of Las Vegas is known for a lot of things, gambling , entertainment , provacativeness, etc. But you don’t ever hear of Las Vegas as a place someone would wanna raise a family, and their could be a plethora of reasons. I wanna dive into a specific one that I feel doesn’t get talked about, one that only an adult who grew up here can tell you about. Growing up we all generally get told the same story, go to school, get a job, have kids, retire , die. As you grow up it becomes way more complex than that, some of us don’t get married, some of us don’t finish school, shit some of us don’t have jobs. That path that gets practically burned in us as kids, very few actually go down that path. Of course a lot factors into it, your household probably plays the number one role in how you turn out as a human. But how much are we blaming our environment around ? As a parent you do all you can do too provide your kids with the best tools, and most stable environment. What about when your kid leaves the house ? The things you can’t control what they see? The people they choose as friends, is all out of your control. You just have to hope as a parent your kid goes the right way. Since adolescence I was always taught two things in life no ifs, ands, buts, you will finish college ,and get married. It was just the right thing to do, and growing up that’s what I wanted. I had dreams of going too ucla, my homie was supposed to go to usc. But as you get older those things get less appealing, people around you start getting money fast, it can distill your mind. As a kid you hardly notice , but as an adult you feel a shift. Your dreams feel farther than ever, and there’s a lot of money too be made in your face. Opportunities that, maybe risky , maybe immoral, pay the best dividends. But is this normal ? Are these even supposed too be possiblities? Being raised in Vegas it all feels normal , things I realize as an adult should never be normal. Things I realized in a lot of different cities are not normal. Being able to live in different cities and share my societal norms with others left the question. How much of what I seen affects me now ? And how much will it affect me goin forward ? The question I’ve started too ask lately as I’ve gotten older is will this affect my ability too get married ? On the surface it might sound crazy, but as I’m starting too get older I see a pattern in myself, a pattern in a lot of my friends that I’m generally not seeing when I’ve lived in other states. For example, I live in Austin, Tx . I moved here when I was 22 years old , I am now 26 and see a distinct difference in the path most go compared to where I’m from. It seems of that seen sentiment that was burned in our minds, actually follow through in certain places. People actually go to school, get married , and have that life . A life that I feel I let go as a reality in high school , people out there actually live it ? From there you start to examine , what have you seen , compared to what they have seen , too allow them to fulfill there story while you feel hesitant ? It’s a question that is probably way to complex to actually answer, nothing is 100% in this world, and I know people where I’m from who have lived that story. But you can’t help but ask what about the rest of us? Between women you had a crush on going into prostitution, best friends going into drug dealing, pimping,the love of your life cheating on you at the club, a good honest person just doesn’t succeed in our side of the map.Its possible, but it takes a special amount of discipline too withold the shit this city has too offer. An amount of discipline most of us don’t have, which leaves us all losers at the end. So while some of us succumb to the city, the rest of us are left with nobody. Which leads to the conclusion ,what you see is what you know which is why I sit here 26, single, still trying to convince myself the crazy shit I saw should never affect how I want my future. That the life of a family, kids , happy marriage is possible. Of course I understand my city isn’t the only with these issues, but I I feel Las Vegas is a city that promotes it, encourages it, and benefits financially from it. Which as a kid can scar you, a scar you won’t see until your grown. And unfortunately a scar most of us won’t heal from, What You See Is What You Know.

In life we all have dreams, Nasir’s mother always dreamed of being a journalist, and his uncle always dreamed of being a pilot. Both never got too live out there dreams as war in the country of Eritrea forced them to flee the country as teenagers. Fast forward and there you have Nasir. Since a kid Nasir has dreamed big, growing up with a single mother put an extra battery in his back. He was determined to chase after his passions, and basketball is what he fell in love with. Since the early days of Kobe and Shaq, the swag he saw Allen iverson walk with he knew he wanted too be an nba player. Nasir went so far as making a promise to god he won’t stop until he’s in the NBA. As said before Nasir mom and uncle both fought in a war at 15 and 17 years old, escaped as refugees with nothing, and was able to get on there feet in a new continent with basically pennies. Money wasn’t amazing but they had enough to get by. What Nasir realized quickly even though he wasn’t brought up in the same situation as his family, he was still too broke too chase a dream as crazy as the nba.Nasirs mother and uncle immediately chastized him, reminding him of his height, the percentage of people who don’t make it, and worst of all just bluntly to his face told him they don’t think he can do it.That they would rather he chase something practical. I feel compelled to say Nasirs family is from Africa where tough love is the only love you will receive. While devastated it opened up a new hunger in Nasir as not only did he want to prove doubters wrong, but now he had a desire to prove his family wrong. In hindsight it’s important to note Nasirs mother was in poverty, and her 4’11 son saying he doesn’t care for school and only wants to make the nba can make any mother very worried. But Nasir was devastated, and it can be argued that the lack of support from his own family caused Nasir to struggle with his confidence. As no matter how hard he worked he was always coming up short, and while he didn’t deal with nearly the same upbringing as the generation before him. Nasir was in extreme poverty himself under the roof of a single mother. A falling out with his uncle left him at pivotal moments of his development without a man to guide him, and thus Nasir started to fall within the cracks. As he felt the pressure mounting and the clock ticking Nasir began to get more frustrated, more angry at the world. You have this kid who works his hardest, stays out of trouble, and shows respect to everybody get the short end of the stick. The lack of confidence affected Nasirs in game performances, taking the bus to and from the gym everyday was starting to weigh on him, and the trouble he was experiencing at home was starting to emotionally drain him. As a teenager Nasir felt confused as too why at such a young age all this pressure had too be on him, why he had too struggle with confidence, or deal with instability in his household. Nasir just wanted to lay low, play basketball and support his family. It seemed though life had other plans for him, and he was really starting to wonder if basketball is something he should be pursuing. Over the years it turned too a safe haven for him, a escape from the harsh realities he faced on a daily basis, from what started as a hobby is now a full time passion. What started as a kids dream is now Nasirs first love, but as the years went on and life got harder, the ending felt very near. Miraculously Nasir walks on to a junior college in Santa Barbara and for once he feels the blood, sweat, and tears he put in this game will finally pay off. That he just passed a stepping stone into brighter pastures. What Nasir experienced that year from having to pay his own rent, work 2 jobs, go to school and practice had him question how much he really wanted this. Nasir’s uncle just got diagnosed with cancer the year prior, and his mom had a tumor in her breast.What a lot of people don’t know is his mother had a stroke a month before he went to school. So for Nasir his mind was constantly moving a thousand miles a minute, that dream of basketball not only seemed farther and farther away, but for the first time he questioned if this is actually what he wants for himself. After years of sacrifice Nasir was starting to wonder if this orange round ball will ever love him the way he loves them. If maybe his family was right, and this isn’t for him. Nasir’s year from hell in junior college cannot be understated, as he was now resorting to crime to put money in his pocket. Something Nasir in a million years never pictured himself doing. Nasir learned quickly that rock bottom will distill your decision making, and with that decided he would transfer Junior colleges to live with his estranged father. To this day the biggest move he made in his life, as he didn’t know what too expect or even who his father was, nonetheless was excited to form a relationship with his half siblings. As Nasir got comfortable in Arizona he started seeing for the first time a life without basketball, a life with no pressure, no expectations, just a regular life. After Nasir tried out for a few schools,(making one) he ultimately decided to leave the game of basketball and chase a new passion in life. The game that gave his life meaning , hope,best friends, and an escape from the harsh life he was given he dropped like it was a bad habit. Trust and believe it is never easy to let go of what you love rather it be a person, object, or passion , and Nasir went through a severe identity crisis figuring out who he was outside of a children’s game. That identity crisis spiraled into a depression that in present day Nasir would tell you benefited his life. Being forced to find yourself as a person can do a lot for you and your character, we should never put ourselves in a box. So even though Nasir had to let go of the game he loved dearly, the game that in his mind gave his life meaning, the lessons that journey taught him will always be invaluable to his life going forward.

The best piece of advice that was ever given to me was "Don't make an ass at yourself making assumptions". In life our mind tends to run a million miles a minute, between true crime television, real life scenarios you have heard through the grapevine, or through personal experiences you may have experienced, our brain tends to have this thirst of putting the puzzle pieces together. I mean how mad can you be at someone? that moment of feeling right, of jumping on your instinct, and having the piece of mind of knowing you can trust your heart can be an amazing feeling. But what about when you're wrong? What if everything you have assumed of this persons character was just a figment of your imagination. A classic case of allowing your mind to not only make an accusation, but build on that accusation and in your head have a case built against this person. So much that losing them is not even an option, but an inevitable butterfly effect of your overthinking, your unwillingness to ask more questions, be straight forward, and maybe just maybe trust the person is who they say they are. The saying goes in life to never forgive a cheater, that no matter what they will always cheat again, and that if you feel that you are getting cheated on too leave and never look back. Some of us have been cheated on multiple times, from multiple different partners, and some of us have cheated on multiple different partners. Which admittedly can make the dating scene a lot harder for people who value loyalty, for people with hopes and dreams of finding the one and being with them until they die. Ironically a good man or woman that values loyalty in life has a tendency to get the short end of the stick. Their character always seems to come into question and even though they want the best for you our minds could be so jaded that we chase somebody with the values and core we have always searched for in a soulmate away from our arms. Damage that person the same way we have been damaged, irreparable damage that scars someone not only on there heart but there mind, there soul goes with them. So for you that stayed up all night worrying, never trusted your partner, and attempted too back them into this corner of being somebody they never planned on being whose to blame if they ever do become that person? Whose to blame if said person becomes everything they were accused of being? What do we say of the person who makes these incorrect assumptions? Somebody who hurts people in this world in fear of being hurt, to assume something of there partner. Abuse them mentally, maybe even physically all off a assumption. An assumption that never had any truth, merit, but something that has permanently changed the lives of two individuals. A misjudgement of somebodies character which in a different universe has a happy ending because you decided too trust. Too bad we live in this world, and in this world your false assumption has not only wasted both parties time. But has left an innocent soul with a permanent scar on there heart, a once innocent who more likely than not will take a long time to maybe trust a partner again. So with that being said the one thing I hope you learn from this is don't make an ass out yourself making assumptions, give yourself time to learn the person. The more we make baseless assumptions of people the more peoples innocence get robbed in a already cold world

In life we ask for the things we can’t have The people that we lost through mistakes of the past And The people that past The moments that we had when we where at our happiest Even the moments with a lost loved one at our saddest We always find a way to desire what we can’t have Them years we don’t talk to our family The years we didn’t chase our dreams The girl you never got tried to talk to Thinkin of the past will have you just askin for the things you can’t have So when do you move forward Ask for things in the future Stop reflecting on your worst moments you felt like a loser And stop reflecting what u never had And dream about what it’s about to be