left alone, i wait for what will never be already bleary eyed, i had only what left knew left alone, i wait for what will never be

flashes of light, only for me to see i could never know what to be true left alone, i wait for what will never be

i call out, echos failing to reach even me i gave all of what there is to lose left alone, i wait for what will never be

---

i sit here in an eternal lean i’ve lost what there is to do — left alone, i wait for what will never be even despite my love of you

I woke— but to (?) A world that bends, a mind unhinged, my friend (?) my enemy, lay desolate before me.

Is this truly him? Or another twisted shadow in the haze of my madness?

I have both won and lost— what did I even seek to lose? I do not know, but here, in the metallic stink, I finally grasped understanding.

His skin, always sweet as honey, glows as bright as stars I crave to consume.

His arms so delicious, soft, just as I hoped they would feel— even in the embrace of our death.

I have already broken my humanity— porcelain bells shattered, replaced by jagged stone, my gaze unfeeling, my hands stained.

the whispers of darkness consume only the cracks beneath the fissures of untempered glass

deception pools creating pressures into the corners

the floor, bed, and walls now covered in shards, blood, and worms

the image of life, even if for tonight, lays barren on the pillowcase - it’s traces fading with the dawn.

you and me settled in a playhouse you play the prince, and I the clown

you dangle your dolls, as my neck croaks unable to breathe with my dangling limbs yearning to stay in the air, stars dazzling my eyesight .

the jingling bells trembling on my fools cap entertain and deceive all though you easily turn to porcelain

i fall from grace, everytime you’re near. shattering my bells for your breath to be my anchoring lacquer

i hate you control you seize the humanity you force into my being

i am trapped in the dollhouse you call love.