I don’t know how long I’ve been here.

It’s dark. That’s all I can say about it.

No windows. No light. No sound.

The room is damp. Always is.

I don’t know how long I’ve been in here.

My mind swirls and flares.

The wet smell holds my nose.

How would the world look without eyelids?

I think I already know.

I don’t know how long I’ve been in here.

My mind calls me.

“Lora.. Lora…. LORA…”

I don’t really know how to answer.

I think there used to be someone else.

I don’t know what he looks like.

How could I? It’s dark.

He called out me everyday.

“Lora..? Lora..?”

I would answer.

“M#z#l#…?”

Why can’t I remember his name..?

He calls for me.

“Lora… Lora…”

I don’t know how long I’ve been in here.

It’s dark.

He calls… but it’s not him I know it’s not.

He stopped calling a while ago.

He calls again.

“Lora..? Lora…?”

I don’t answer. Why should I?

It’s all in my head.

“Lora? Lora?!”

In my head…

“Lora..! Lora..!”

IN MY HEAD. IN MY HEAD. IN MY HEAD.

I don’t know how much more I can take.

My body sprawled out on the cold, cement floor.

They crawl all over me and prickle at my skin.

Spiders, worms, fleas..!

I don’t know. It’s to dark.

I don’t know how long I’ve been in here…

It’s to dark to tell.

Please let me out.

IN MY HEAD. IN MY HEAD. IN MY HEAD…

“Hey man thanks you’re the best,” he says. This strange mortal I met a few cycles ago would not leave me alone after I decided to grace him with my overwhelming intelligence. Apparently I ‘owe’ him for landing my starship on his petunias. Whatever that meant. He had me do his scribbles of problems. From analyzing human brains 90 jets close to me, I could determine that the scribbles were ridiculously easy. He called the scribbles of problems ‘homework’ and described it as ‘torture invented by demons called teachers’. I think I would like to meet these demons and try to find a better method of torture considering how laughably easy it was. This human is so… dumb.

“Seriously man, I don’t how I could have done it without you.” Wow his small brain can’t comprehend this..? That’s just tragic.

He swung his arms wide and raced towards me at lightning speeds. He arms grasped my middle and then he tightened his hold. Who does he think he is?! I just helped him with his homework and I’m being payed in ASSULT? Not on my planet.

Allowing my brainwaves to travel I send agony into his head. He let go instantly.

“Hey man! What gives? I thought we were chill?? Don’t tell me your gonna start taking over earth now?” His voice is loud but not yet yelling.

“You attacked me. Silly human thought I could be fooled by your stupidity!”

He starts laughing. My eyebrows crease. What is so hilarious to him?

In between breaths of laughter he replies, “Dude it’s just a hug! No need to be so alien!” That comment sends him laughing further. I can’t help the face I make.

“So this ‘hug’ is a human custom?” I tilt my head in deep thought. He nods. To fit the mold of human I must learn this custom.

“We shall try again! And you dumb human will teach me the ways of hug!”

“Yeah sure dude,” he laughs. “No problem!”

Incase you couldn’t tell from the title there are suicidal themes

Falling is peaceful. I would know. You can’t jump off high diving boards without getting the feel of falling. The calm before the storm. The peace before the hurt.

Is it worth it?

I peer down at the concrete below. It’s the same height as my favourite diving boards. Except this time I won’t hit the water.

Images pass through my head. Blood and bone flash, and lead me away. I stand away from the ledge. My ex husband face flashs through my mind, and I go back. He used to call me the most beautiful woman in the world. I wonder if I am still beautiful to him when my bone’s stick out of my body.

Going over the edge is a choice. A choice I’m scared of.

Putting my hands on the railing I think one last time.

Is it worth it?

No.

“Hey”

I jump.

There is a man behind me. He stands atleast a foot taller than me, and his hair shines even in the night. He stands next to me.

“You better not be jumping,” he says. I’ve made up my mind. “I am”

He seems surprised.

“Well that’s a shame, I was going to ask you for your number.”

My confusion must show on my face, because his smile grows. I can tell he’s trying to hold back a laugh.

“You see a woman about to jump off a roof and you ask her for her number?”

“I mean, yeah!” His smile shines so brightly

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your ridiculous!”

I pull put my suicide note from my pocket and rip a corner off. I write my number in black pen and lay it in his hands.

His smiles brightens even more so.

“Wanna get coffee?”

If you could restart would you? I wouldn’t I think you would though

Tears fall and grass grows The world keeps turning Oh well

If you could help would you? Would I? How could I help someone who crys jewels?

Every piece of you is shattered Don’t worry its fixable Its easier with someone else

Is it? Yeah it is Let me help you repair yourself

❤️❤️❤️

Not very good at writing poems… Constructive criticism would be great! Love yourself ❤️

I knew the survival chances of leaving the shelter. There was only a 15% chance that you would make it back alive. Of the 15% that make it back 90% of them die from the sickness they got out in the wasteland. Every year the council would choose a group of four to go out and explore the wasteland. I hadn’t and will never be chosen. So when Percy’s name was called despair took me.

“Percy! you can’t go!” I scream at him. He is everything.

“I don’t think I have much of choice here Beth,” he said sadly. He smiled and continued stuffing his bag.

I couldn’t help bit be angry.

“So your not upset!? Or anything!?” I was whiping my tears before I realized I was crying.

I felt his arms wrap around me.

My lip trembled.

“I’ll make you happy some other life Beth, it’s us forever.”

I hated him. And somehow loved him at the same time.

I couldn’t find a response.

I grit my teeth.

“Be careful out there.”

When your bully, the guy that ruined your life, shows up on your doorstep at 2am with blood dripping down his face and onto the doormat after going missing for a week, you would be ready to commit suicide too. A peaceful week of no Brant terrorizing me has come to a end.

I saw his face on the news. Brant Loving missing! As his family cries for him. The cops are doing all the can to find him. For the community this is a tragic event, for me and my friends this is best news we’ve ever heard ever since he got suspended for breaking Carl’s collarbone.

I rolled my eyes and turned off the news. This guy has poured soup on my head to breaking my hand and threatening me. I don’t really care what happens to him.

Apparently none of that matters now that he is on my doorstep dripping blood on my mothers doormat. He smiles crookedly and I notice one of his teeth are missing and his normally white teeth have blood on them. Ew. I close my eyes and sigh. “Alyssa… can I come in?” He says. Speechless I nod. He walks in. “I’m going to call the police” I say. “Ok.. thanks… sorry for everything…” I don’t know wether he means it or not, but I still get him a rag to cover his wound and call the police. Maybe he will have a grace period and leave me alone for a while.

⚠️Warning this may be a little disturbing⚠️

He was perfect. An angel on earth. His golden hair and brown eyes. His strong build and cheekbones held no flaws. He was kind and generous. Strong and stern. My love for him knew no bounds. We were perfect. Him and his glory. Me as his faithful servant. I was content.

A problem. She was a problem. She got in our way.  Interrupted our love. Her fat ugly face. With ratted brown hair. She stood on her toes, and shoved her lips into his. He embraced her as they went deeper. My schedule interrupted,  I left his window early that night.  Hatred bloomed in my chest. Disgust raged in my heart. So I set a plan to make the start.

I caught her next week.

I shoved my nails into her eyes.

I smiled as everything went red.

I caught my love the next day. The love in his eyes made me giggle and scream. I tied him down, and kissed and kissed him over again. Then I showed him his surprise. He screamed and sobbed, but the love still burned in his eyes. I told him the truth. I told him everything. Then I let him go. He ran so fast. He’s so perfect. Father would be proud.

For the first time in so long, joy burned in my chest and I cried and cried and cried. He was a miracle, he made me feel. I would never leave him and he would never leave me. We were perfect.

The next day he gave me a surprise. Heavy men and women met me with flashing red and blue. He stood from a distance. I smiled and blew him a kiss. Then they grabbed my hands and took me away from him. Then I realized. He was getting rid of me. I screamed and cried. No matter what I did I would never be good enough for him. Never pretty enough for him. Never smart enough. No matter how much I tried it would never be good enough for him. He’s prefect and I was not. I smiled and laughed as I thought of him. I hope he’s thinking of me too.

Again. I sigh as everything freezes around me. This is the fourth time this week. The annoying thing about time stopping is I have no idea when it will start again. So I am bound to my desk until time starts again. Make my school day extra long, yay. After thirty minutes (maybe??) time un-freezes and the teacher goes back to teaching and I get back to my notes.

Derek Androse was having a party. Derek Androse! I put on skinny jeans with a tank top and tight vest. Black heels and light makeup. Now to get past my parents. I knocked my lip gloss off the counter ledge. It stopped mid-air. Perfect. I sprinted out the house and to his house. I waited in the local cafe until time unfroze again.

I entered the house. Loud voices and bright lights surrounds me. I’m having a good time until time stops (again) and I get more punch to pass the time. I hear something move. I look up and see Derek Androse staring down at me.

“Derek?!?”

“Hey Princess,”

I fluster

“Derek!?” I say again like a idiot.

“Hello Samantha?”

Then I black out.

I woke up with a pounding headache. My body sprawled out on a cold floor. My mind dizzy and dancing before I slip into the dark once more.

“Ugh, who hit me over the head with a hammer?”

I groaned as my mind came to life again. I blinked at the brightness of the room. “Who’re you?” I sat up. In front of me sat a teen girl with dark brown hair, a strong jaw and pounds of makeup on her face. As I squinted I noticed the freckles around her nose. “Hey! Don’t ignore me! Who are you?”

“Grace, who are you?” She glared at me. “I don’t have to tell you nothing!” I rolled my eyes. I glanced around and noticed the empty white room. “Where are we?” Rude girl looks around and looks frightened. Then a bright purple portal appears in the middle of the room. We back away. A tall and muscular man falls out. He has blonde hair with a scar on his right cheek. He blue eyes look a mixture of fear and anger. A child with pale blue skin and white hair follows.

The blonde hold the child while getting into a fighting stance. Rude girl seems to notice and quickly says. “Wait! Wait! We are just as lost as you are! Don’t attack!” The child’s ruby red eyes are glowing.

Then it hits me. Ruby Red. A child with magic that society shunned out and tried to kill. Then that means the blonde was Hero. A boy born for perfection, to be a hero. Only to get lost in lies. I look back at rude girl. Emily, that’s her name. A mean and hot-headed girl who doomed her enemy then saved her. They were all characters. My characters.

Another portal opened and three figures spilled out. A lanky guy, Jake. A muscular woman with several knives, Jess. And a short guy with glasses, James. They were from my apocalyptic story. Jake, a weak guy with a talent for science and medicine. Jess, the warrior with a ice heart. James, the everything guy.

Another opened and out came my pride and joy. Crystal, her dark skin and blonde hair with ice blue eyes. A girl lost to the world and isolated.

They were mine. My creations. I fell into the darkness once more.

I awoke to quiet chatter. And Crystal leaning over my face. “She’s alive!” She shouted out with glee. “Duh, we checked her heartbeat,” said Emily. Hero walked up to me, Ruby followed.

“What do you know?”

“Huh?”

Jess stood up beside him. “You obviously know more then the rest of us, so spill.” She held one of her daggers to my throat. “I don’t know anything I swear!” I lied through my teeth. Ruby’s eyes glowed. “Liar!” She yelled. “Tell us what you know!” Yelled Jess. “Come on guys ease up on her, she just woke up.” Said Crystal. “Come on! Even I tell she’s suspicious!” Yelled Emily.

“Maybe it would be best to let her heal first?” Jake.

“No, she could be waiting for the perfect time to strike.” James.

“I say we kill her” Ruby.

“Ruby no!” Hero.

“What’s the matter with you all?! She’s innocent just like us!” Crystal.

“She could be fooling us!” Jess

“Stop!” Me.

“I’ll tell you everything, just shut up please.”

The day has finally arrived. The day I’ve spent my whole life waiting for. Everything for this, to be Queen.

I knelt down on one knee.

My heart burned with passion.

The crown was placed in my head.

I stood up to face my people. Smile and wave. This was everything. Everything I had worked for. Everything I have dreamed of.

So why did I feel so empty?