If your hand could reach inside my heart, what would you do with it? if i opened my walls and let you back in, would you break me again? i love you and i shouldn’t love you not after everything but is it so wrong to still want you, to still need and crave you, like an addiction left unsatisfied? i want to let you in, but how can i? why is it that after all the time i still can’t let you go?

im okay. on the stage i’m okay beneath the spotlights i’m okay but in my darkest moments when the camera turns off i’m not they’re just lines from a script i memorised rehearsed till perfection rehearsed till you can’t find the flaws i’m really not okay backstage i’m a mess i’m broken and shattered and exhausted but when i get on the stage i’m okay i have to be okay i have to play my part i have to say my lines the spotlight is on i’m centre stage remember your words: don’t worry im okay

freedom. what does that really mean? an outsider might look in, through a small hole in the wall, and say that we are free. but i know too well, i see beyond small hole in the wall. i see the chains of our words, that tie us down to the floor. i see the cuffs of our ghosts, that hug onto our wrists. i know that we are not free, for we are bound by our own misery.

why do i always have to be the one at the side? i sit here on the bench, simply watching them shine; basking in their glory, but never having mine. they’re the stars, and i’m their shadow, trailing just a step behind. and the worse part is i can’t even cry, because each one of the stars deserves to shine. so i’ll just sit here, waiting patiently for the time, where i won’t envy the stars, because up with them i will shine.

We fly. Whispers of doubt weigh on us, but still we fly. Wind howls at us, threatening to throw us off track, but still we fly. The sun sets, forming a path for darkness, but still we fly. We fly and we fly and we fly. We keep flying, searching for our beacon of hope. We fly on nothing but faith, and right now, that’s more than enough.