I’ll never forget the day she asked, “Do you think the sun gets lonely up there?”

I had turned away from the sky, gazing upon her laying on the grass beside me. She didn’t take her eyes off the sky.

“Probably,” I had told her. I watched as her face turned into a frown. “But… the sun gets to shine down on all of us, making our lives better. So maybe the sun thinks it’s worth it.”

“Yeah,” she said, joy returning into her figure. “Yeah maybe.”

Now I stand watching her glow like the sun. Her body is slowly absorbing into light as she transforms.

“No, please!” I gasp, trying to reach up to grasp her. “You can’t go! Don’t leave!”

What was left of her human face sadly smiled back down at me. “Don’t worry… I think — I think it will be worth it.”

Then she was gone. “I truly hope it is.”

“You want… this?” My mentor says, holding up the bizzare old toy.

“Yep!” I respond, trying to keep my laugher in so he knows that I’m serious.

He jumped as it made an annoying noise. “You know this will get you killed instantly.”

“Eh. I beg to differ.” I snatched the fuzzy, big-eyed toy out of his hands, holding it up in like a trophy. “Trust me, with this thing I’m getting back home no problem.”

“Two. One.” The Hunger Games have begun.

I run to the woods, not bothering to get involved in the blood bath. I’ll let them kill each other for now, but soon it’ll be all over for them.

I climb into the trees, settling into a branch, waiting until nightfall. Trying to ignore memories sitting in other branches, genuinely happy with him around, I take out the sound system on the toy. No need for it to go off while I’m not ready.

Night’s here. I hear a branch cracking and I know it’s time. I sneak back down, turning it on and setting it at the base of the tree. I climb back up, but I stay on one of the lower branches, a rock in hand.

The toy does what it does best — being obnoxious. Those kids have no choice but to come see what’s making all that noise. “Ugh! What is that?” one of the kids asks. Sweet! I hit the jack pot!

One of them gets closer, his spear tucked tightly in his hand. “Is this…” he picks it up, “Is this a Furby?”

I jump out of the tree, landing on top of him. I smash my rock on his head for good measure. A cannon goes off.

The girl yells, hurling forward in attack, but I’m ready. I grab the boy’s spear and stab her through. Another cannon goes off. All that can be heard is the questions of the toy, calling my attention. “Yeah,” I tell it. “I do really think we’ve got this.”

“Leah… I really — I really like you. And I was wondering… would you go out with me?”

He had flowers in his hands. A timid, sweet smile on his face. Man, why did it have to be this way?

How was I supposed to tell him no? How could I confirm his worst fears? Would he even understand?

“Jake,” I said as calmly as I could, trying to hide the chaos exploding in my head. “That’s so sweet of you.”

He still waited for an answer.

What if I did say yes? Then I’d just be pushing off the problem and ultimately make things worse. It’s better to get it done with here and now.

I just hoped I wouldn’t lose my friend. I really do love him, just not in the way he’s hoping for.

“Look,” I say. “You’re an amazing person.”

I watched the color drain from his face. His smile fading.

“And I really like you too, just not in that way—“ I blurted out. “I like you platonically, as my friend.”

He wouldn’t look at me. His dreams really were crushed and I was responsible. Why couldn’t I just be normal?

“Is it because—“

“It has nothing to do with you,” I promised. “I don’t like anyone that way. I’m… I’m aromantic asexual, so…”

Was that an excuse? I’ve never felt that way towards anyone before. I’d thought people were joking when they explained their attraction. Though I had to think, if I did have that attraction, would I have liked him? Even if I am AroAce, couldn’t I still go out with him?

“I’d still love to do something with you!” I explained, trying to fix the situation. “I just wanted to be clear there’s no romantic interest in it.”

Now I was the one waiting for an answer. Waiting to see if friendship will prevail. I hoped with all my heart that it will. Please don’t let me lose this.

“Stina, please…”

“No… this — this can’t be happening.”

“Please, you have to understand!”

“Understand what? Understand that you risk your life everyday just for… glory? Revenge?”

“No, it’s not what you think—“

“Oh, right — sure. You believe it’s all for some noble cause! Saving the world, helping “helpless” people, making the world a better place, and all that crap.”

“Stina…”

“Cause I know why you do it. It’s because you believe that with your special powers you’re better than the rest of us! You’re so great and powerful that you can’t help but save the little guy. We’re not defenseless! What gives you the right to determine the course of everyone else’s lives?”

“Please… I really just want to help. If you don’t like how I do things, tell me how to do better. I don’t know what else to do with myself!”

“Don’t talk to me again.”

“THIS WAS WHY I WAS AFRAID TO TELL YOU! They all said you’d leave me… now I know they were right.”

“Goodbye, Phlox.”