The doll sitting in the chair Her blank haunting stare Has caught my favor

I go to her Not of my own chose Slowly, the density Of the air seems to increase

I am trapped here

Forever

The sheer density is overwhelming The black hole toys with me like a doll The Universe does not grant any favor.

The density of this doll Drum Sensitivity of it all Some Times leaves me Feeling like a beat -en toy Asking for love As a favor

Do me a favour said the doll Tell me a joke so I can loll There is no density in this poem Before you start ohing.

It was hard to see ahead of me due to the density of the fog on that cold night. The street had an eery quietness I could almost feel. I was alone.
Suddenly I heard what sounded like tiny footsteps Behind me. No one would be walking their dog at this hour. I quickened my pace not daring to turn around. The tiny footsteps seemed to be running to catch up with me. All the lights were out in the houses. Then, I heard a faint noise. It was like a squeak but seemed to be saying something. I nearly tripped over a paving slab that was raised and nearly fell. What do I do? It was impossible to see anything ahead of me. No cars came past to light up the street with their headlights.

Suddenly the voice again still squeaky but clear.

“ Please Mister, will you help me?”

My feet were stuck, weighted down with fear. My heart a ticking time bomb about to explode in my chest.

The tiny footsteps caught up with me. I felt a sharp tug of my trouser leg. I was sure my teeth were chattering like a frightened cartoon character.

“Please mister, please help me.”

I had to look. I had to know what was about to happen to me even if I could not tell anyone else later on. Was I about to be abducted by aliens? I remembered I had my mobile phone in my pocket. It had a torch.

There she was. Around 61cm tall, pink frilly dress, blond ringlets tied up with a pink ribbon. She looked up at me with big blue eyes. A doll.

This had to be a dream.

“Mister, my name is Trixie-Sue, I need you to help please.”

Yes I was dreaming. Had to be.

“Wha wha what do you need help with?” I asked.

“Will you come with me please?”

“Erm, well, yea of course ....wha”

Before I could finish my question I found myself running behind her.
We ran around the corner and half way down the street. All houses here were in darkness except for the one whose front door we were entering.
Tricia-Sue lead me into a room in the front of the house. There on the floor laid an elderly woman. She looked up as we entered and said.

“Thank God. Thank you God. Thanks for sending this kind stranger.”

It was clear she had been collecting dolls all her life. They were sitting or standing on every piece of furniture in the living room. Dolls of all sizes and races.

I helped her up and made her comfortable in her armchair. She was shaken up by the fall but nothing was broken.

“Thank you, you’ve done me a great favour I don’t know what I have done had you not come.”

As I made my way out of the door to continue my journey. I heard her say.

“Good girl Trixie-Sue, good girl.

I am the broken doll.

Everyone sees my admirable face and body. They look at me as this beautiful person, which could be true. Which is true, I am beautiful. But inside I am broken. Inside I am disgusting. Inside I am delusional. Inside I am selfish. Inside I am hateful, I am miserable.

Why? I will never know. I don’t have to be this way, I want to be beautiful on the inside as much as I am on the outside. My mind density is faint. It’s almost as if there’s nothing upstairs, as if I’m empty. I have no depth. No strength. No hope. No will. I tend to get called ditzy, a lot. Sometimes it’s funny to me, sometimes it’s almost like an insult and sometimes a compliment. I feel like I enjoy being clueless. Only because I’m not really clueless, it’s like i pretend to be voiceless so nobody expects much out of me. I do everyone else a favour by keeping my thoughts and opinions in my head. I let everyone else steer the boat and I go along with whatever. Once again why am i like this? This isn’t what i want to be. You want to know what I wanna be? I want to be strong. I want to be smart. I want to be a leader. I want to love.

I’m almost certain I can achieve those things, if I want it bad enough to work for it. So today, I’m here to tell you I have achieved those things.

Today I am no longer the broken doll. Today I am no longer disgusting. Today I am no longer delusional. Today I am no longer selfish. Today I am no longer hateful. No longer miserable.

Today I am the unbreakable doll. I have no longer let things break my ambitions to do better. I have no longer let people break my spirits with their words or negativity. Today I am everything I ever wanted to be.

I am STRONG. I am SMART. I am a LEADER. And today I LOVE harder then ever before.