Hi Diary, Jingle here.

The run up to Christmas is always hectic down at the workshop, everything changes and picks up speed.

First of all, the head elf becomes increasingly more lax about uniform standards but incredibly strict about every other rule. The other day Crackle stumbled in half asleep, with his hat missing and his striped knee-high socks at different lengths and he didn’t even get a w...

Dear journal:

Day... does it matter? We are kept in a dark room, I only write this by moon light shining in our tiny cell. Our task master has allowed us this precious break before the chaos of what is to come.

I have personally assembled thousands upon thousands of dolls; their lifeless eye haunt what dreams come to me in the little sleep we are granted.

Tuffy and Muffy talk of revolution, bu...

Dear Diary,

I HATE the day before Christmas Eve. Most of the year I get to have fun in the workshop, making toys and games. But today? Today, December 23rd, is the worst day of the year. It’s the day when Santa sends everyone their ASSIGNMENTS. That tells us two things: what we’ll be doing until Christmas, and what department we’ll be working in next year. Next year I’m working in Puzzles...

Dear Diary,

You would not believe the amount of work us elves have had to do this year. Honestly I think it’s more work than any other year. But I’m not complaining, I love making toys for all of those special children in the world. In my eyes every single one of them deserves at least one gift. I love children, even if some of them can be a bit well...loud, I still love them because you know whe...

No pay, not even minimum wage !

I just wanna quit.

I’ve been working all year for what ?

Absolutely nothing!

Even humans get minimum wage!

Today was the day, I would leave.

I had been taking spare planks of wood, spare nails and made myself a raft.

But I wanted to leave in style...

Last night ... after packing my bags , I poured gasoline over the entire building of our office .

I was on ...

I’m Jewish. I don’t know how I ended up here. ...

Dear diary,

It’s December 23rd, which you know what that means—it’s crunch time at work! We are all working overtime getting presents wrapped for all the little munchkins in the world. I can’t wait for the week after Christmas Eve, when I can finally get some rest and spend time with my family.

I think one of my favorite parts of my position in Santa’s Workshop is envisioning the looks on the c...

We wake up in the workshop. My brother’s sleep longer than I do, I’m always the first one awake and at work. The earlier I finish my work for the day the earlier I can get back to figuring out how to get out of here. Once I told that to Issac, my oldest brother, and he told me to stuff a Furby up my ass because it was never gonna happen.

That’s my department, furbies. Or is it furbys? Whatever, ...

With Christmas coming up we can’t help to be stressed and tired. All of the same Christmas songs are driving me insane while everyone seems to just love it. :) On top of everything while Santa was doing his morning cookie handouts I somehow got the burnt cookie of the batch. Wonderful. Todd thought it would be funny to put sunscreen in my glass of milk. I spent about 2 hours on the toilet. Where d...

Sitting here thinking fuck Christmas really has me feeling like “The Grinch” but you don’t understand how much work this shit really is. Maybe y’all asses are spoiled and need to show love year round. Idk I’ll just sit here n sip my tea!!

Authors Note

The BOONDOCKS - Dear Santa

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