DISCLAIMER These are some of my actual, real life memories.

Me and my best friend Evan used to go straight to the swings every recess. It was actually how we became friends in the first place. I was shy, he was too. But every time that bell rang we would go to the same spot—the swings. We would see who could get the highest. At first it was a silent competition, but one day we started talking and were friends from that point on. I don’t even remember what we talked about anymore but I’m sure it was important to our first grade selves. His mom was our music teacher, and the first one to teach me “On The Twelfth Day Of Christmas”, and how to spell Wednesday, and who Michael Jackson was. She was my favorite. I had another friend, Sawyer. We talked and laughed together, but something about the way me and Evan could be comfortable with each other in complete silence was special. First graders talk a lot you know, so that made it even better. We would watch the other kids play house or soccer. I remember talking to him about the kids playing house and that neither of us ever understood. I still don’t get the point of that game. Sencond grade, I moved schools and never saw them again. But I’ll never forget the swings where I connected with a boy like no one else in my life.

There she was, Allison, swinging by the woods. I knew I’d find her here. She was always here, swinging on the swings. I asked her one time why she always swung on the swings everyday. She said her and her dad used to come and swing on the swings everyday. Before her dad died, he told her to keep swinging on the swings that he’d always be there with her. She said its the only place where she can still feel him. His presence was always there right with her. I can relate to that. My mom and I used to walk every to the mountain overlook by our house every moning. That’s the only place I can feel her presence. It’s like she’s still there holding my hand. I can feel her other places too but the overlook is where I feel her most clearly. Sometimes I go and swing with Allison but I know its the time she uses to remember her dad so I only go if she waves me over. She waved me over today so I went and sat on a swing. She asked me if I had a place where I could still feel my mom. I told her about the mountain overlook and how I go there every morning just like she comes here. She said she’d never been so I told her if she wanted, I’d take her sometime. She said she’d like that. The next morning when I got to the overlook, she was there. She smiled and said she wanted to be at the overlook like I was everyday when she got to the swings. I didn’t know what to say and I guess I never really put any thought to it. It just became a habit, I wanted to make sure she got there safe. I told her I was just looking out for her. She said maybe she wanted to do that too. After that, we started going to the overlook every morning and the swings every afternoon together. We looked out for each other and shared our burdens. We became best friends and if I’m being completely honest, maybe even a little bit more.

Eloise was swinging up and down, her little feet kicking up into the air each time she went higher. Her mother watched from the bench facing the playground, her hand placed on her handbag.

“This seat taken?” A male voice interrupted the focus the mother had, she barely reacts however and instead just glances at him as he sits. “So, you’ve been here a while. How’re you acclimating?”

“Acclimating?” The mother huffs out a laugh. “That what it’s called?”

“Just answer the question.” The man replies.

“Everything is fine. The girl is healthy. Shows no signs of any irregularities yet.”

“Yet.” The man echoes. “Are you sure?” His eyes narrow slightly as he focuses.

“I’m sure. Nothing. I’m watching for them.”

“That’s good. And how are you?”

“I’m bored of all this,” the mother gestures airily towards the playground. “The daily routine, the mundanity of it all.”

“You knew what you were signing up for,” the man sighs.

“Yes, I did,” the mother also sighs. They both sit a while, occasionally glancing at one another, then towards Eloise.

‘Sarah! Sarah!’

She’s calling her daughter to come take a break from playing to eat her snack.

‘Sarah? Sarah where are you?’

Panic is staring to set in as she realizes she doesn’t see her daughter on the playground. She looked down for only a minute, where could Sarah have gone?

I sit on a bench next to a nearby tree with my unlabeled blue ball cap looking down pretending to read my book about first time parenting, but enjoying the sound of her search.

‘Sarah!! Please, somebody help me find my baby!”

Other playground parents gather their children while looking sideways and whispering about her. One mother decides to help, but it’s clear the other parents would rather protect their own child than help another out. Sarahs mother finds her daughters favorite crusty one eyed teddy bear left unattended in the sand under the swing set.

Hysteria sets in as I close my book, tuck it under my arm and casually stroll away with excited heat crackling through my skin and smiling to myself knowing I’m the cause. She can look all she wants, but Sarah is already gone.

Clouds covered the sky, breezing over the autumn day. Leaves drifted to the ground from the trees, landing on the soft playground floor. Avia had been waiting here for twenty minutes already, watching over Lila as she played on the swing, her firey red hair blowing around as she swung back and forth. She had been looking after Lila for a week now, the nine year old didn’t know much of what was going on. She seemed completely oblivious that her life was blowing up around her, didn’t seem to question why she was there or why she kept having to move from place to place. Everything had changed a month ago when her mother died. No one even knew about Lila until that day, her mother had been protecting her, keeping her secret until she had a visit from an old friend that ended badly, very badly. Avia had been friends with Lila’s mother years ago but no one had seen her in ten years. Now she knew why. Metal whined as the gate to the playground opened. Avia turned to see figure dressed in all black enter, his light brown hair was trimmed short, but still long enough to style and sweep back. His face was solem, his features sharp, he looked to be in his thirties but Avia knew better. She knew the Sorcerer to be well over three hundred years old, his aging stopped by the magic flowing through his veins. She watched as he strode over to her, glancing to Lila who was still obliviously playing on the swings, her light airy laughter breaking up the seriousness and dread of the conversation about to happen. Avia had called Orune the second she had learned of the child. It had taken them a few weeks to hide any traces of her and keep people from finding out about her mother. She had kept Lila secret from her heritage it seems and the girl knew nothing of the magical world she belonged to. ‘You look well.’ Orune stated. ‘As do you.’ Avia replied, obliging by the polite greeting customs she always found so tedious. ‘Is that the girl?’ He motioned to Lila who’s feeling pointed to the sky before she swung back down, her fiery hair flowing into her face. ‘Yes.’ She paused. ‘She doesn’t know anything of us, of her heritage and she has never met her father. She doesn’t even know what he looks like for what his name is. Her mother never told her.’ ‘Well Sierra knew what she was doing to keep her secret, I’ll give her that. Don’t tell a child about thier heritage and they’ll never go looking to find out more. She was right to hide her.’ He spoke of Lila’s mother, the blonde haired sorceress with glowing golden eyes. She had been powerful, almost as powerful as the ancient magicians that lived thousands of years ago and used to wreak havoc on the mortal world. ‘We need to keep her hidden.’ Orune continued. ‘If he founds out about her…’ he paused. ‘I don’t know what he would do, wether she would be welcomed or hunted. The king has been hunting for Sierra for ten years as it is, if he found out she had a daughter too.’ I don’t think any reason would enter his mind. ‘How are we suppose to hide her, her mother has just died and now she’s surrounded by people that claim to have known her mother but she’s never met. She will start asking questions.’ Avia said. ‘I know it’s a lot to ask but.’ He trailed off, not wanting to voice the question. ‘Can you take her, you should be able to claim her as your distant niece, you can stay in the isles. They’re distant enough from the kingdom that you shouldn’t have much questioning from anyone and I can try and throw the kings direction elsewhere. If we hide any evidence of the child having existed then hopefully the knees of Sierras death with end his hunt.’ ‘But what if someone finds out about her, she’s not exactly subtle with that fiery hair and golden eyes. Two very distinctive traits to define her parentage.’ Avia pointed out, they looked at the girl, her red hair flowing around her, the same as her fathers. The fact that no one had discovered her before was astonishing. ‘Just keep her hidden as best you can. Teach her about her heritage, and make sure she knows to keep herself secret. I can sense the magic in her already, she’ll need training to control it, and to bury it deep. Her magic could rival the kings, I don’t think he’d let her live. Even if she is his daughter.’ Orune finished. Orune was second to the king. An advisor of sorts. The king with his fiery red hair, the stretch of magic etched deep into his bones, making him one of the most powerful sorcerers there had ever been. He had been in love with Sierra, her golden hair and golden eyes singing of her own power, almost matching his own. No one knew why she had disappeared, or more likely fled. She had been to see the oracle one day, a tradition for everyone to go and find out their future once every three years. Most of the fortunes told were meager and not worth knowing. Since he had learned of Sierras death he had gone to the oracle. He had learned of what she had told Sierra ten years ago, what had caused her to flea the king. The oracle had said that the pup of the king would kill him, her power to rival the gods, feared and cursed. The pup pursued and hunted, a rival to all. It had taken him a moment to comprehend what she had said, the reason she had left, hidden away for ten years. The child, more powerful than anyone, and a threat to the king, even if she was his own daughter. Sierra had known that, she had known what her would do to the child, born more powerful than him, a rival to his throne. He would have marked her for death the moment she was born. It was now up to him to keep her secret. If the discovered she was that powerful or that she was the kings daughter and if the king found out, it could destroy the entire kingdom.

The higher I go The closer I am to the stars

I’ve always loved the idea of living with the stars Would they be warm and kind Or would they be selfish and cold Either way

I wish to meet the stars at least once in my life Maybe the moon and Saturn while I’m up there too

I love this swing I come here every day To try to swing with the stars

A brisk Tuesday afternoon, belly full of sugar, nap time right around the corner. The bell rings. “Recess time,” my favorite part of the day. Eyes on the play house, body pulls me towards the swing sets. Compulsion takes over. I give in. I settle in and accept, then start to kick my feet. I’m swinging. Feels like I’m flying. The wind in my hair, not a care in the world, only thing on my mind is if I can touch my feet alllllllll the way to the top of the tree! I did by the way,well with one eye closed squinting of course. Is this what freedom feels like? To go back to that little blue school, to that little blue swing-set to feel that feeling of freedom again, Well I would give anything to travel back in time.

“Everyone else can do it. Even Will, who had a sprained ankle can do it. So why can’t you?”

The words from my peers were spoken with annoyance, which i interpreted as disdain. Looking down from the big slide, my chest felt like it was caving in on itself at the thought of jumping. I couldn’t go home until i jumped. With every second i clung to the colorful metal poles holding up the friendly looking playground i was slowly tarnishing the image my peers held of me. It wasn’t that far down, even if i landed wrong the pain won’t be permanent. But the instinctual shunning of the weak will not fade as quickly. Before i can allow my mind to protest, i throw myself off the slide and onto the ground. The sturdy concrete hurt my hands i use to help land, but it wasn’t as bad as i feared. The tears i didn’t even realize had been flowing left my face feeling drier than before. I did it, and despite the annoyance that never left the faces of people i had previously assumed to be my friends, i see it positively. It could have been worse, i could have waited longer, made them angry enough to speak about it rather than give me a dirty look as they are now.

“Act like an adult. She is three years younger than you, and yet you are the one crying”

Words that sting worse than glares hit me like a bus. My boss is doing his job, he is stressed and just trying to get through the day. He has every right to be annoyed. I cannot please everyone nor can i do everything perfectly every time. I cannot hide from the judgement and disdain. There is no reward for pushing yourself off the slide, no matter how high you are or how hard you hit the ground. Your reward is being grateful the people you inconvenienced were kind enough to put up with how long you waited to jump.

I will never leave that playground, scared and trying only to please others. I press my hands onto the hot stove top, the white hot pain surging through me is almost peaceful compared to the slight sting of concrete. I will forever be skinning my palms and knees for someone else.

Do not act surprised when i throw myself face first to the ground, the pain i give myself is a million times better than the pain and humiliation of every waking moment on that playground slide.

I sit on a swing Nerves out of control I’m twelve minutes early And he’ll be here soon Hundreds of things Racing through my head This is when I confess And let him know my thoughts My best friend till today When he chooses to leave or stay Things my never be the same

Going to the park the playground where the air is calm and cool and the sun is out the kids noise some crying some laughing the ice cream truck near by sitting on the swing playing on the slide reminiscent of simpler times when things weren’t so complex and complicated when we were carefree as kids desiring to grow up as adults but why did we have that cute desire? Because we didn’t know what it brought upon us