TW:Metion of decapitition, blood. The wind blows an ear pericing whistle around me, so cold it sends shivers up my spine. The distant sound of crickets grows louder and softer with waves, almost as if its planned. With no horizons in the darkness the road looks like it could go on for years. I mean it feels like I’ve been standing hear for years anyway. My thumb has been out for so long my arm is beginning to ache, even with my other holding it up. Is this useless? Is anyone even going to be out this late? I sigh, maybe it would be better to just sleep in the ditch than to stand here like an idiot. My eyes begin to grow heavier and heavier, my body beginning to ragdoll to the ground, and suddenly blackness. BEEP, i shoot awake at the loud noise “Holy crap!” I look above me to see a man, a man? This late? He’s wearing a black hoodie, making his face so dark i can’t make anything out. He’s leaning against what i presume to be his white ish van, with scratches, and tinted put windows. “You doin alright kid?” He says softly. “Oh uh, yeah, i was trying to find a ride.” Even though his face is blacked out, i barely make out the smirk forming across it. Standing up, he still is much taller than me. “Well i can give you ride, unless you want to stay in this cozy ditch.” He says jokily. I dont know, on one hand i can’t stay here all night, and who knows when someone else is gonna come by, but on the other I’m really not getting good vibes, like a white van with tinted windows, thats just screaming, Rollup Rollup get your free candy here! Peeking at the tinted windows, i can’t make a single thing inside the van out. “I mean sure, but why are your windows so dark? Have something to hide?” I say, trying to sound comedic but genuinely worried. “Well, i used to transport illegal things across the border, of course i don’t anymore but I’ve gotten used to the lighting” “Huh, what type of things?” “Oh you know, the occasional animals, you know the ones i would happen to find on the side of the road.” Well he sounds like a good guy, i mean not everyone rescues animals and risks themselves to transfer them. “C’mon i dont got all night kid what’s it gonna be?” “Uh, yeah sure.” I say with almost no hesititation. He opens the heavy door and does a hand gesture for me to go iside. Sitting on the leather seat, i am immediately washed with an odour, and odour of decay. “Ignore the smell, sometimes, the animals would try to get back on the road and well, accidents happen.” “Oh uh yeah its fine, beats sitting on the grass.” He starts the van several times before it properly turns on, and we start speeding down the long highway. It feels so isolated, no other cars insight and the only light coming from the van itself. I shift around in my seat trying to get comfortable, but every time i shift an auful squelching sound is heard beneath. “Hey uh, what’s that sound.” He doesnt move his eyes from the road as he speaks. “Oh thats some extra water i store under the seats, sometimes im in this van for days on end waiting for the next helpless creature.” Okay? That’s a little weird but everyone has hobbies i guess. I turn my head to look behind my seat, the whole back of the van is dark and eerie. My head still focusing on the back is suddenly pulled left, same with my whole body, why are we turning? Looking back up front, ther van is now off road, “Hey uh where are we going?” He doesn’t answer, im starting to get worried, a sick feeling beginning in my stomach. I can’t really believe what’s happening. I try to rest my hand on the door handle, then my stomach sinks. I slowly turn my head and eyes to where my hand is. There is no door handle, its been removed. “You’ve probably figured it out huh, took you longer than most of them.” My head doesn’t move from its position, my eyes still locked on the markings of where the handle used to be as i answer. “What do you mean? Im confused?” He chuckles. “I guess your a more visual learner.” The van slowly pulls to a stop, in the middle of a field. “Take a look in the back” he says “What?” “Take, a look, in, the back” he says more sparely. The mans eyes are still focused in front of him. Unbuckling my seatbelt my mind races as i begin to climb into the back. Ok maybe i can knock him out? Or escape through his door or-. My thoughts are cut as i have placed my hand on something cold, cold and wet. The lights are suddenly ilumitued, my hand is resting on a blood covered severed head, the eyes, they were all i could focus on. The eyes had been cut out, the jaw broken. I cant even move my hand off, im frozen. Looking around the back i see many garabge bags, some bigger than others. “See i used to just dump them in the back but that lead to the smell, it would put a lot of people off and im getting to old to have to force them in the van, so bags helped.” I slowly turn around my eyes passing more bags shoved under my seat. Then i lock onto the rear view mirror, his pale face showing only happiness as he looks directly at my reflection, his gaze is going to be the last thing i ever see i think to myself. I hear his seatbelt unbuckle and suddenly survival instincts kick in. I scramble to the back of the van and start banging on the doors “HELP OH GOD HELP ME, SOMEONE PLEASE FUCKIGN HELP ME!” The most haunting laugh is echoing behind me as i hear his footsteps get closer. Turning to face him, his face still covered by the hoodie only shows his big smile, his hand clutching a toolbox. “Please no, please i dont wanna die please.” My voice cracking as tears stream down my face. They say if you look directly at someone holding a gun at you, they’ll see the humanity in you and hesitate. All I could see in his face was shear excitement, sitting down his hand resting on his knee he speaks. “I always try something new, im thinking the ears should be the first to go.” He continues to laugh, but I’ve complete zoned out listening to the distant sound of the crickets. The waves of loudness still the same from before. This feels like a bad dream, but no matter how hard i try i cant wake up. I just hope its quick.

I looked out the window of my small one room apartment above the hardware store and shook my head. I had become frustrated and bored with my hometown. _I’m getting out of this town and going to see the rest of this big world _I thought to myself. The people in this small, minded town just don’t understand me, and I don’t fit in. I had become so frustrated lately and began to throw some clothes in my small bag along with the tools of my trade. I was going to write my own story.   I walked out the door of my apartment, closed it, and locked it for the very last time. I headed out onto main street and began my new journey. I was excited and knew that there was so much to see. I could walk for miles if I wanted to. I had a little bit of money so I could buy food and get a room and hop from town to town doing odd end jobs. I didn’t need anything steady. In fact, I didn’t want to stay anywhere too long.   As I headed onto the outskirts of town the road winded into the surrounding forest of the town. After a couple of hours I decided that maybe just grabbing a free ride along the way might be a good idea, so I stuck my thumb out. _I had never hitch hiked before but there is a first time for everything _I thought to myself. A few cars passed me by which didn’t surprise me because hitch hiking was not a thing but finally someone stopped, and the guy asked if I wanted a ride.   When I climbed into the car the man asked me where I was going. I told him that I had no real destination so wherever he was going was fine with me. He smiled at me and said, “I like the way you think kid.” He turned up the radio and cranked up the music and we continued down the road.   We had been driving for about an hour and he finally turned down the radio and asked, “So what you are running from?”, I looked at him surprised and asked, “How do you know I’m running from something?” He smiled at me and told me he had picked up a lot of hitch hikers in the past and knew when someone was trying to get away. I explained to him that I wanted to write my own story and being on the road was the best way to do that. He seemed to accept that and turned back towards the road and turned the music back up.   We must have traveled for about another two hours when I told the guy I had to use the bathroom and wanted to grab something to eat. He said, “That sounds like a good idea.” He pulled onto the next exit and stepped at a gas station. The bathrooms were on the outside and he said that he needed to go as well so I went in and grabbed the key for this little shithole of a business, and we headed towards the bathroom.   He walked into the stall while I used the urinal. I set my bag next to me and reached in to grab something I needed out of it and walked over to the stall. I told him thanks for the ride, he turned around and slammed the hammer down on his head. He fell to the ground and looked up to me and groaned “Why are you doing this?” I told him “This is the first chapter of my story, and you are the main character.” I continued to bash his brains in.   When I finished up, I cleaned myself up, changed clothes and bought myself a sandwich. When I got up to the counter to pay the attendant asked me where I was head and I responded, “Anywhere the road takes me.”.

No! It happened again. I went out hiking with my best friend of three years, Ami, and little did we know we had gotten lost on our trail without even realising. I feel like an absolute moron right now, you would think after the third hiking trip we’ve gone on together, and had gotten lost in these very same woods we would remember to bring a map, or a compass, or something to help us, but no! We’re now both lost in this sea of trees with every path we turn to looking the exact same no matter were we looked or how we look at them. I’m just so annoyed with myself right now and so is Ami, how could we have been so stupid to get lost again for the fourth time this year. Now we are going to have to walk around in hopes of finding something that would help us get back to our starting point, or to help us get back home at least, or maybe even someone to help point us in the right direction. I just hope that it won’t take too long, I mean it’s getting dark out already and I don’t want to be camping out here all night with barely any supplies and with who knows what in these empty woodland areas. It’s been almost two hours now, two long and extremely exhausting hours, and me and Ami still haven’t found anything in these woods besides from just more trees and plants and other non useful things. Don’t get me wrong, nature is beautiful, but not when you’ve been forced to look at it for two hours straight when your stressing on how to get out of it and back home! We’ve drank all of our water, we’re both so tired as well as hungry, and our feet are killing us so badly that I can feel the blisters forming at the back of my heels. Wait. There’s… something up ahead. A roadside! Yes! Finally, something that would help us a bit to try and get home. Now all me and Ami have to do was hitchhike a ride back home, which were hoping won’t be a problem, I mean loads of cars drive by all the time, right? All we have to do is stand by the side of the road, like this, and hold our thumbs out in hopes a car would drive past and see us. And hey, look, seems like we two aren’t the only ones who are hitchhiking out here. There’s someone else up ahead doing the exact same thing we’re doing, they had there back turned to us though so we couldn’t see their face, but they did wear a nice red hoodie with jeans and a backpack. I was soo jealous of that hoodie, and so was Ami, I mean it is freezing out here in these woods, and with it growing late and more cold. That definitely was not helping. The wind just kept continuing to pick up and it was just growing colder and colder by the minute, god the one day where we didn’t dress appropriately for the occasion and decided to go for looks over comfort. We’re practically freezing out here and my body feels frozen from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. I’m so tired of just waiting here on the side of this god for saken roadside, it’s been almost fourtie five minutes and my arm is killing me due to how long I’ve held my stupid thumb up and out in the road. I’m just so ready to quit doing this stupid-. Wait. A car! Ones driving past! And, yes, it’s stopping for us and the other person wearing that red hoodie. Who was actually a guy that looked to be in his twenties or late thirties. Me and Ami are so relieved because it has gotten so dark and cold out here that it was actually getting rather eerie since we were beginning to hear all kinds of noises in the woods that were emerging. I got in the car with Ami and the other guy, and wow, the car is so warm and inviting. It even smells good too, like a freshly baked pie or something. I’m glad this guy stopped and picked us up instead of some greasy haired weirdo with some unkept car that would have probably smelt like the inside of some construction workers old and sweaty boot. Ok…. Now that was odd, I just told the driver the location me and Ami wanted to get dropped off at an he just… smirked at it? Same with the other guy with the red hoodie on and with his backpack at his feet, he just sat there in the middle of me and Ami and when I said where we wanted to get dropped off at, he also smirked at it. Not to mention now that I realised, the guy in the red hoodie next to us is rather strange. I mean I don’t mean to be rude but he’s not spoken to me, Ami, or the driver ever since he’s gotten into the car with us, also his clothes and backpack is really dirty now that we’re able to get a closer look at it now. Like he’s been working with dirt all day since he had it all over his hands and under his fingernails. That was strange to say the least, I’m just glad the the driver agreed to drop us off at that location, which was just at the roadside of mine and Ami’s original starting point of our hiking journey. From there me and Ami would be able to walk back to our cars and drive home, were we can both just wined down for the rest of the night, and talk about how stupid we were to just go out on another hike without even thinking of bringing a map or even our phones to help us get out of the woods yet again. Looks like we really need to plan for our next hiking trip that’s for sure, god my mom would be so disappointed in my lack of thinking and preparation skills right now. And honestly I wouldn’t blame her. This guy has been driving for a while now, which is weird because I don’t remember the starting point being that far away from where me and Ami got lost at. Maybe we did go father than intended and just hadn’t noticed it before? But I don’t remember it being this far. And I swear the driver and the guy in the red hoodie is starting to act even more strange than before. The driver isn’t answering me whenever I’m asking when we’ll get there, and the guy in the red hoodie is also not speaking to either me or Ami, their just sitting there in their seats in the car with those unsettling smirks on their faces. It is slowly starting to freak me and Ami out, and I can’t shake this feeling off that something is off about the driver and this stranger in the red hoodie, very, very wrong….

I walked across the fall sky’s looking down at the nightmare grass. Wishing that they were here with me. I walked along the roads, boulevards, and avenues. Wishing they were they to see the differences, and how their important. I walked and walked to try and save her. It never always worked.

I’ve never had much of an issue getting picked up quickly when I was hitchhiking. Being a young, naive girl, I was either picked up by men, or women who were trying to keep me from being picked up by strange men. I took the ride either way.

I had to get out of this stupid town as soon as possible! No one ever did anything to help me when I needed them…. My parents abused me so much, I couldn’t even count the bruises I have on my arms and legs. Me…being a stupid child, I decided to do stupid things…like hitchhiking. Now, you may be wondering, “Samantha, why are you doing something like that? You’re basically committing suicide by getting into a stranger’s car!” Well…again, I was a very stupid person back then and thought that I could have a better life if I just ran away from the people who were supposed to love and care for me. Now, I must say it took me some time for me to get the courage to run away. I won’t get too far into it but when I got home from a friend’s house, I entered through the back door just to avoid my parents but they were standing right there. “What are you doing home so late?” Dad asked and I looked around. Mom was tapping her foot against the ground anxiously with her arms crossed. Some people might think that they were just worried but they weren’t. I came one minute late through the door and that was only because I was chatting with our neighbor. It’s was six in the evening…. “I’m sorry, Dad, I was just—“ “Fooling around with that boy of yours?” No! Besides, I wasn’t even with—“ “Don’t be talking back at me you brat!” I stared at Dad for a second or two…. “You keep interrupting me!” I turned to Mom. “And you! You never stand up for me! Why? Why don’t you stand up for me?” Dad slapped me across the face so hard, I fell to the ground. I could feel my cheek burning as I looked to see blood dripping to the floor. “Oh great, look! Now you’ve messed up our hardwood floor! You ignorant child!” Mom shouted and I got up, running to my bedroom. I packed all of my things into a suitcase and dragged it outside where my parents followed me, demanding I get back inside. No chance of that, I thought. I started walking down the street of the neighborhood, trying to get rid of the pain with one single paper towel I had. Eventually I got to a dirty area to rest…but I didn’t stay long. This gross man looked at me with a weird smile. It was as if he wanted something. His unkept hair was all over the place and part of his white stained shirt was torn with holes. “What you doing all alone out here, little girl?” The man inquired and I tried to keep my voice from breaking. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction that he was creeping me out…. “I’m just…I’m just waiting for a friend to come pick me up.” I said. The man chuckled and he stood up. I could feel my legs tremble with every step he took. He almost laid a hand on my shoulder when I zoomed passed him. “Hey, where are you going?” The man called out but I didn’t look back. I ran to a forest and took a breath, putting my hands on my knees. My heart continued to beat expeditiously. I looked around at the beautiful trees and the leaves that fallen down onto the road. What should I do? Where should I go? I began walking on the grass, surely there would be a car soon that could help me figure out where to go…or let me ride in with them. It felt like an hour but I would look at my phone and only five or ten minutes would pass. Great…what kind of situation did I get into? Well…this wasn’t so bad compared to what happened a few moments later. A green truck started coming into view and then it slowed down once o put my thumb out. “Need a ride?” A man with a gruff voice asked and I laughed nervously. This man had a long beard and I could easily tell he had been drinking…. He smelled like alcohol and he didn’t look like the kind of guy you would normally want to argue with…. I changed my mind. “No thanks! I’m good! I’m just…I think I will travel on foot. Good excerise!” I exclaimed. The man stared at me for a long time and then grinned. His teeth looked disgusting and old. “Come on little lady! I don’t bite!” The man said. I shook my head and took a few steps back. “No, thank you. Like I said before, I’m just going to travel on foot.” I said and the man got out. “What…what are you doing?” The man didn’t answer. He got so close to me, I almost started gagging by the stench. I rubbed my nose for a second or two and then he grabbed me. I fought with him as he grunted for me to stop. Somehow I managed to grab a hold of the pepper spray I had in my backpack zipper and sprayed it with him. I ran off with my suitcase as he cursed at me. I only got a glimpse of it but I could see he was on the ground, rubbing at his eyes and clawing at the dirt. I was free! Not quite, though. I still had to find a place to stay and there was no way I was goi no to be going back to my parents who are probably discussing their “rightful” punishment for me. I didn’t have any family to stay with…no, they weren’t dead or in other states…but they never did anything about the abuse I went through. They would also just send me back home and I would be in a whole lot of trouble. So I went to that same friend of mine. Gracie. I knew she would let me in and her grandmother never minded if I stayed at their home. The only thing I could really do was just stay at Gracie’s house until I knew exactly what I was going to do. We still had to figure out school, the mall, etc. because Mom or Dad could come by at any time and demand for me to come home. I don’t ever want to think about what could’ve happened if I was unsuccessful in fighting back that man. All I know is that from now on, the will be the first and last time I ever try and do hitchhiking…. You never know what people could be preying on others.

“Look at this bloke ‘ere.” The truck driver said. I stared out the window. As a French woman, this city was completely new to me. Even though it was only kilometers away, it felt like a whole new world. Then, I saw what he saw. The hitchhiker wore a hoodie that shielded his face, and jeans that were darker than the night sky. “Do you get that kind of people around here often?” I asked, my accent seeping past my sleep-deprived tongue. “You see all types of people in Britain.” The man escorting me answered with a short exhale on the end. It wasn’t necessarily a significant one. It seemed to be like something those with an English dialect did often. It was strange to me because it wasn’t like he was hailing a taxi on the London streets. We were traveling an unbeaten path, a rocky trail of mysteries. “Should we pick him up?” I inquired, though I was uncertain and anxious. The truck driver shrugged and said. “Sure. Let’s help a mate out.” The truck screeched to a halt. The hitchhiking man stepped in. “Where to?” The truck driver asked. The man looked at me; or at least, I thought he did. His eyes were still shrouded by his jacket. He stared for a while, and then he said, “Strawberry Fields.” That sent chills up my spine, even though I wore an authentic mink coat. That was the hotel I was heading for. It was possible that he was just headed the same place as me, but I severely doubted it. It was practically off the map, and you need to make a reservation seven months in advance just to get a room. And this man, not to judge, didn’t look like he had a reservation. But the truck driver didn’t notice this. “Aces! This young lady’s going the same place as you!” He said, for maybe the first time in his life, cheerfully. I didn’t say anything, because this driver was so kind to take me, a foreigner, to my destination. But something was off about the jacketed man next to me.

I’m a statue.My now hoodless grey hoodie is stained with crackling sprigs of stale moss,the stinking green residue of a field now a million miles away and there’s even a foamy white dribble hiding the brand where a bird dangled it’s legs right above me,obviously thinking that I was a statue.I stare at the lifeless hand that droops from the end of my stick arm,remembering when it used to dance around excitedly with the rest of my fingers when I was telling a particularly interesting story or doing a hand jive,before my thumb was cursed to an eternity of pointing upwards like a regimental soldier standing to attention.My other fingers are no use either,the space between my pinkie and my forefinger is now the home to a few restless mites that keep burrowing their heads into the crevices of my skin as though my hand is a soft play place.My palm flares and throbs and sweats like hell.

(the road less travelled…) Each of these words has travelled through time and each has a thread and each has a meaning and a wandering line or two, lodged in my head. False. Her glimmer was fading like a mirror gaining patina and tarnished and burnished and light growing colder and she cannot keep up with the light, the love, the space. Like an escaping zoo animal she resists the panic of being caged and under the weight of freedom enraged and closer, pulling me into the time when and will still be lying there – waiting expanding, and fanning out like transport. But you, ….you will be gone.

It wasn’t the first time someone passed me by, no. Speeding past, a thumb does nothing to stop a car as it barrels down the narrow road. Some act as if they don’t know what it means. Naturally, I was surprised when a small minivan shrieked to a stop beside me, it’s wheels kicking up dust in the shadows. The tinted window was cranked down by a woman that seemed too happy for the dreary day. “Where are you headed?” She grinned. “West Field,” I murmured. I got in the back seat. Kids of various ages sat quietly, their eyes wide at the stranger scooting in. I took the bag from my shoulders and hugged it, letting my hair fall into my eyes so I wouldn’t be recognized. “Mama,” the youngest girl pointed at me. “Mama, there’s a man in our van.” She laughed like it was the joke of the year, her stubby index finger pointed at my chest while her cheeks turned red with laughter. “Yes, Honey,” the mama turned around, smiling at me nervously. “We’re taking him to West Field. Right, Greg?” She turns to her husband who has adjusted his rearview mirror and keeps glancing at my reflection. I hug the bag tight again, keeping my head down but my eyes up. “Yeah, West Field, huh? You live there, kid?” He scratches his face and stares at me with occasional glances at the empty road. “Y-yes sir. I was heading there for a job.” “What type of job?” My head was racked, thoughts flying by for what was in West Field. I shrugged, pulling the bag up on my lap and turning to the window. “I think he’s kinda cute,” a girl giggles behind me. A slap follows. “Owwwwww, mom!!” “She’s doing it again!” A boy yells into my ear. “She’s crushing on this loser. What is it with you and losers, Charlie?” “Son,” the man warns. “Jax, we do not make fun of people. I have told you about this. So has Mrs. Becky. It isn’t always kind to say what crosses your mind,” the mom turns to me, “I’m terribly sorry.” “It’s fine,” I say flatly. “I’m sure he already knows,” the boy grunts. “I was just reminding this girl, incase she tries to lock lips with him like she did with-“ “Jax!” “Mom-“ “SHE HIT ME!” “Mom, I forgot to tell you I need new watercolors for art,” a small voice says. I turn, a girl is curled in the back. She pushes her black, shiny hair back shakily, smiling with braces. “What’s your name?” I ask her. “Oh my- Mom!” Jax screams. “Natalie,” she whispers. “Natalie,” I repeat. Her father narrows his eyes from the mirror, while her brother kicks my seat hard. “Pull over.” “Excuse me?” “Pull over.” “Kid, I can’t-“ “PULL OVER.” I slam my fist into the window, it shatters beneath my knuckles. The mom gasps, the dad jerks the wheel to the left too hard. Once. Twice. Thrice- We roll again and again. I squeeze the bag, shielding my face from impact. The ground rushes- the ditch swallows the car. Cold water trickles in from the creek through the busted windows. I sit up in a hurry, my head hitting a seat. Jax leans heavily against the side compartment, his chest still. The small one who laughed hysterically just minutes earlier was nowhere to be seen. The mom was slumped over the dash while the dad was slumped to the side, his balding hair brushed his wife’s thigh. “Natalie,” I pull myself over the seat and angle my head to reach her. She moans, her eyes rolling. “You’re so pretty…” She groans again, blood seeps from her shoulder, one brown eye drips a small bit of blood onto her face, her hand was twisted at an odd angle. “Be my friend,” I whisper, brushing her hair backwards. “Please, I promise I’ll be yours.” She says nothing, her eyes were open. I pull her from the back window, stepping over the baby shoe. I sneer at it, cradling Natalie’s head in my arms. “I’ve always wanted to kill someone.”