TW: self-harm

My wounds are words

That speak the story

Of the things I feel, but can’t say

Reminders of the actions I took

To take back control

To stop feeling this way

The blood is release

It’s exhale

As it flows down my leg

Giving my pain attention

Concreteness

So it no longer has to beg

To others, it’s scary

It was to me at first too

I never understood

How this was something

That people could do

It happens when I feel trapped

When my feelings have no outlet

And they demand somewhere to flow

But while I want to open up

I don’t want to be seen as dramatic

So no one can know

A hijacker of pain, I feel ashamed

Isn’t this stealing

From people with real trauma?

I can’t tell anyone either

If I do they’ll just dismiss me

As living for the drama

I thought I’d grow out of it

People think it’s just a teen thing

Even writing this now

Is a bit embarrassing

But how else will I release?

When I’m deep in a void

This is the easiest way I know how

To fight back and to feel alive again

To feel here in the now

I make light

By making this rhyme but

The dark truth is

I like doing it

I know it’s insane

But when I feel numb

I find comfort

In pain

—————

A/n: 200 day posting streak!

I wrote this poem in my first week-ish on this app, but never posted it because it felt way too personal and revealing. But keeping this streak has pushed me to be vulnerable and put myself out there. So finally posting this feels like an apt way to celebrate.

I just want to say thank you so much to everyone on this app for being so inspiring and encouraging. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to keep this streak (I’m running low on inspiration these days). But this community has made the difference between poem writing being a random whim in a desperate attempt to process my depression and something I’ve done for 200 days straight. Because of all the amazing writers here, I can say I write poems now 💜 📝 you all mean more to me than you know.