my biggest fear

when i was a kid

was being the guy

in his forties

in a band, singing

at a bar to no one

or worse

everyone

or worse

thinking you are

cool for it

i have seen a lot of them

and always worried

that maybe i myself

have kept my piercings

in for too long

maybe my jeans

should not have rips in them

anymore

maybe my hats

should stop being

backwards

maybe people view

my own poetry

as a failed pipe dream

that i should have

given up long ago

maybe i am already

that leather-wearing

never has been

and

i just don’t know it

maybe

he doesn’t either