I’m trapped. Here mentally and physically. No one can help me, I’m stuck in memories. Well only one. The worst one. I go to sleep and I wake up in a loop. The same thing everyday. Over and over, with no escape.

It always starts off good, I’m going to a picnic with my girlfriend. It’s at a lake, she wants to go swimming and she gets her leg trapped in lily pads and drowns. There’s nothing I can do. Everyday she dies and everyday I feel hopeless.

I’ve tried to just stay home but when I do my body just transports there. And I have to watch her die.

This morning I woke up cold. This is wrong, it’s always hot. But today is cold, shivers go down my spine.

I get into my car with the basket of her favorite food. I took pictures every time and they always disappear from my phone when I wake up. But I looked at my photos and there they were. All of them from all the days I’ve been here. I started to cry, are they just trying to tease me, showing me I couldn’t change anything?

I got at the picnic and there she was in her bathing suit. Her red one piece suit. Her blond hair braided. I had a tear in my eye, clouding my vision. She came towards me and grabbed my hand.

“Are you okay? It’s just a swim.” She smiled. I knew what was going to happen next, she was going to jump in and I will stand here, as she drowns, I’ve tried saving her multiple times but I’ve failed every time.

She squeezed my hand and ran. She pulled me with, this was different. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. We ran on the dock and she jumped in bring me with her.

The cold water covered my body. My feet touched the floor and I pushed back up. I knew she wouldn’t make it up, so I started to swim back.

“Hey!” She cried.

I turned as fast as I could. She was there waving at me and now swimming towards me. I swam towards her and hugged her. I knew I was sobbing but I didn’t care, she was alive. She wasn’t dead. The loop ended. We walked back to shore and I kissed her.

“I’m so happy your here.” I whisper.

All she did was smile and hugged me.

I went to sleep that night hoping for a new day. When I woke I looked out the window, it had snowed. A new day. I ran to the phone. I called her and she answered.

“Hello?”

“Wanna go swimming?” I asked.