. Only half of me

               is invited to 

                       dinner 

      since I told them 

                   my truth 

We keep things polite

                    and fun 

   but when they ask 

          the dating life 

                 questions  

                          they 

                   skip 

                            me 

so they can pretend 

       they’re with the 

straight

                            me



                   that they 

                           love 

                         more



    that they’re more 

                        used 

                            to 



           Their silence 

has been suffocating

   ever since I finally 

    gave      my    true       self       air

I think that they worry

   that if they accept 

              the new me



               the version 

                   that was 

                   a trophy 



                    will rust 

          beyond repair 



                      I wish 

   they would realize

           that avoiding 

             the new me

   doesn’t give them 

      the old me back 



   That I’m not gone



                   and that 

     avoiding my eyes 

can be more violent 

than an open attack 



         But they won’t  



                   Because 

                   for their 

                        pride 

                   my truth 

              is too much

That the queer me is

                                   permanent 

Is too sharp to touch

            So yet again 

           at this dinner 

              I’ll show up 



                          half 

                     invited



  to where I used to 

  feel most at home 



                  and leave 

           the other half 

                                   in the car



               Smiling but 

       bleeding quietly 

                wondering 

           if they realize 



               that silence 

                             can still leave a scar