**_GREY CHAPMAN’S DIARY_**

SEPTEMBER 2ND, 2019

I’m back home. After 2 years, I’m home. My brothers are here. They are both younger than me. I’ve missed them both, even Blake, who is not that nice to me. Bruno, the youngest, would not let go of me when I came through the door. I’ll admit, I didn’t want to either. Blake is the middle brother and I’m not sure if he missed me or not. I can tell that he is mad at me. I heard him yelling at dad about how he was selfish for leaving. I understand, dad left them all alone, but he needed to leave mom. He just wasn’t thinking clearly. I wasn’t either.

I attempted to kill myself 2 years ago on my birthday. That’s why I went with dad out of town. Mom wasn’t so lucky. She committed suicide that same day. I hate that I’m glad she’s dead. She was abusive and had issues. I hope that she could have sorted them out but it’s hard for me to believe she would have.

The first thing I need to do is talk to my friend. Her name is Zoïe Patterson. She was my only friend here. She helped me get through the bullying. We were outcasts together and I hate that I left her. I hope she is okay.

SEPTEMBER 3RD, 2019

Blake yelled at me today. I thought that he would call me selfish too but he didn’t. He said that I was a liar. He said that I lied to him that I was fine. He said that I lied about not attempting suicide again. I thought that he didn’t care about me. I thought that he wouldn't care if I was dead. He said he was scared when I fell down that cliff. Well, I jumped. I didn’t fall. And I don’t remember him being there. Maybe he was the one lying to me. How hypocritical.

I thought that I would cry, but I didn’t. I looked at him with a blank face. He was the one crying and screaming. It wasn’t like him. What happened to the tough middle brother?

Eventually, dad came in and separated us. Blake screamed at dad. He said “don’t you ever touch me again!” That hit harder than when he was yelling at me. How dare he talk to my father that way?

Oh, that’s right. He’s our father.

Dad later came into my room to check on me. He said that he would take me to see Zoïe tomorrow. I thought that I would be excited, but now I’m not so sure.

SEPTEMBER 4TH, 2019

Today, I went to see my friend Zoïe Patterson and her new friends. When dad told me that her mom wanted me to meet them, I felt ashamed. I didn’t know that she had new friends. She never talked about them in her letters. Why? Did she not want me to feel bad?

We arrived at a house that was not hers. It was a different house. It was bigger and brighter than Zoïe’s house. Were her friends rich?

A white woman with blonde hair appeared at the front door before I even came out of the car. She waved at us. My dad ushered me out of the car after giving me a kiss on the head. “I love you,” he said. I didn’t say it back.

I should’ve said it back though. I could have died in this random person’s house. But I didn’t.

The woman greeted me with cheer. Too much cheer. A girl stepped out of the door to greet me too. She must have been her daughter. She had short hair that was dyed blue. She said hello and told me to make myself at home.

I normally don’t like to interact with strangers, but I had to tell her that her hair was cool. She said “thanks, it’s natural!”

Whatever that means…

I entered the house with them and the girl showed me where everyone was. She said her name was Maya, which is a pretty name. I scanned the group of teens and I didn’t see my friend.

A tall, skinny guy with bright ginger hair answered my question before I even asked it. “Zoïe is in the bathroom, but she’ll be out soon.”

I took a closer look at him. He was smiling. I wanted to smile too. He was kind of cute.

I might like it here actually.

I looked over at Maya. She had a sour look on her face after the ginger talked.

Why is there always drama everywhere I go?

I looked at everyone again. They were smiling at me except for two people. One guy with blonde hair and one guy with black hair.

I guess I will never be able to escape the haters. It’s inevitable.

Zoïe finally came out. My heart started pumping so fast. Her mood immediately switched: she looked mad when she walked in but started smiling when she saw me! I smiled too. We hugged each other so tight and I swear it lasted almost forever. She told me to sit down with everyone and I did. Maya joined us. I got to know everyone and they seemed cool for the most part. The only ones that I didn’t talk to were the two guys that hate me still, but that’s fine. I’ll just accept that they’ll never like me. I’m used to it.

It was a fun hour and a half.

When my dad came to pick me up, he seemed happy to see me smiling. I was happy too. I told him that I wanted to go back to school with Zoïe and my new friends. He said he would try to figure that out for me. I’m finally looking forward to something!

I just wish I could remember all of their names…