I can’t remember the first time she spoke to me, only that she hasn’t stopped speaking since. It’s a strange relationship I have with her. At times I can beg for her to be there, and in others plead for her to leave.

She appears all the time, wherever I am. She’s an incredible listener, always willing to offer advice. In fact lately, her advice has been more insistent. It’s become, I don’t want to say commanding but.. she’ll appear sometimes when I haven’t asked her to, ‘suggest’ that I do things I would never normally do.

I only wanted some help at first, some guidance here and there, but I find myself reliant on her now. Every decision I make is with her in mind, because I know that if i dont, she’ll be furious with me.

I thought she was so alluring at first, so beautiful. She helped so much, she helped me achieve so much, things I never could have without her help. But now, now I’m not sure who I even am anymore.

I began to withdraw myself, she suggested I should cut off my friends, and that my family were poison for me. They were stopping me from reaching my full potential, she’d said.

I’m not certain how it even began, oh wait, no. I think I do remember the first day I met her.

The first time I spoke with the devil.

I wanted to lose a few pounds.