My fear

Is a chewy tobacco

My thoughts

Tell me this is how to prepare

by imagining

the worst scenario

But really,

in the end,

They lead me

To the depths of the sea

Where you can’t see fishes

You can’t see sunlight

You can’t see aqua blue

All you can see

Is dread

And fear

Then eventually

Anxiety

Anxiety

A chocolate weed brownie

Then turns the bottom

Of the sea

Into a bottomless pit

And my thoughts

They say

“Oh it’s all good, we’re your friends”

But really,

They’re sending me

Down a steep driveway

In a car with no breaks

And a house with no street

_My friends will hate me soon_

_I will never forget that time when…_

_I’m so stupid and embarrassing _

_My parents don’t love me_

_I just wish I was prettier _

_Smarter_

_Faster_

_Better_

_I’m so done with trying_

All these

Thoughts

They leave behind

Footprints of sadness

Cracks of regret

Shadows of longing

Which all lead to

The destination of fear

And then eventually

Anxiety

Because I don’t know

Will I feel like this forever?

Will I keep failing to smile?

Will I regret living this way?

Is this my fault?

What will my future be like?

Bravery is the starlight

in the beckoning night

My hands grasp for it

Like a greasy child’s hands

But maybe

Bravery isn’t shining

On a glistening stage

Or letting go of your true self

Maybe it is holding

On to yourself

And being you

Not them

You

🤍

- Caralia🫶🏼