I’m sorry

I’m sorry if I need extra reassurance

But you see I got my mom’s anxiety as If it were a river running through my blood

Constantly thinking I’m not enough

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I say yes even when I want to say no

But I have my dad’s need of pleasing the people that I love

Even if it slowly strips away my own life in the process

I’m sorry

I’m sorry I feel as if I’m never wanted

But I’ve lived my whole life living in my sisters shadow

Never knowing if the people surrounding me even know my name

I’m

Sorry

I’m

Sorry

That I have my family’s trauma towering over me like Mount Everest

That I’ve learned from the voices around me that I’ll never be enough even if I hold the world in my hands

And that I don’t finish my dinner Incase my clothes start to touch my body a little too tightly

I’m

Sorry

I’m sorry that I’m so afraid of love because I won’t be able to survive if I lose you

But I lost my father before he was even able to teach me how to drive

So I’m a little terrified of allowing love inside

I’m

Sorry

That life has torn me apart so much to where I can’t show you

Or myself

The gentle love that we deserve