sometimes i think i’m ugly, i gaze

upon the mirror, the reflection laughs

giggling that i’m fat, i am a

pig, disgusting, head on the chopping block

sometimes i want to hurt myself to rid

my mind of the secrets crawling on the

walls, scratching and clawing my head apart

devouring me from the inside and out

sometimes i retch my stomach on the floor

the linoleum tiles stained a deep deep

green and red, like christmas but not at all

it’s ugly and horrible, like me

but other times i wonder if i could

be beautiful, because sometimes my eyes

aren’t dull, my skin is tanned and my

face is freckled, they aren’t painted

it’s ok that sometimes i feel ugly

but i have to feel beautiful also