(Note: this is a work of fiction and part of a larger piece)

September 9

Dear Diary,

Well I’ve made it to 40 weeks pregnant!!! When will my Teddy bear be born?! I didn’t think I would make it to 40 weeks since Summer didn’t. I know that doesn’t really make sense cause just cause we’re twins doesn’t mean we will get to have the exact same pregnancy and length of pregnancy or anything but I just figured. They do say though that first pregnancies can last longer than any pregnancies after this one. I doubt I’ll go longer than 42 weeks but the anticipation is really building up now. I do hope I go before 42 weeks because I would like a Virgo child (I know astrology is a silly thing to put too much weight on but whatever. Sue me. I like astrology. And from what I have heard Capricorns like myself and Summer are best matches with Virgos. If I go to 42 weeks I will have a Libra.) When I was in my birthing class, they said there is no real way to predict when labor will start for anyone, but no one has ever been pregnant forever so it will happen. The when though?! The when?!?! Like there is this HUGE monumental event that will happen for me and it’s a date I will celebrate for the rest of my life and I don’t know when it will happen. I can see why some people elect to have c-sections to just at least take the guess work out the special life-altering day. It can still happen today, September 9th. 9/9 has a fun ring to it.

September 16

Dear Diary,

Welllll I am now at 41 weeks and I just feel like it will never happen. I have tried EVERYTHING to induce labor: miles circuit, spicy food (and I don’t even LIKE spicy food but if it means getting this baby out of me then FINE. I WILL EAT IT. JUST GET THIS BABY OUT), sex, curb walking, eating pineapple (at this point I never want to see another pineapple again), exercise, walking walking walking. Nothing is happening. He is still so snug in there and I’ve never been more deflated in my life because I just want to meet him already. I’m also terrified beyond belief about labor and what it will feel like. I was there for both of Summer’s births and they didn’t look fun so I also would like to get the show on the road with that too.

September 23

Dear Diary

42 weeks and I am still fucking pregnant. Like why. Why why why? Midwives are talking options with me later tonight if labor doesn’t start on its own. Including castor oil which I have heard isn’t the best thing or the safest thing either but I just don’t know how to do this anymore. I really don’t. I have googled how to induce labor naturally to see if I am missing anything here but nope. I have done it all. Feeling every twinge and hoping that means labor will start but nope. Why oh why can’t I just go into labor now? I don’t want a c-section. Midwives are here. Will update later.