Hidden From Me
I’d never seen anything like this before. The tears, the shivering, the rocking back and forth. I mean I had seen someone cry, I had seen pain. But Lincoln? The boy who cracked the whole school up? The boy who made me feel strong, who gave me confidence?
I stare at him. My heart throbbing with this pain. The pain I felt when my cat died, the unbearable feeling of change.
When Rin called me here I didn’t think twice about it. We’re friends, even after only a few months I trust him more than anyone else.
“Rin?” My voice cracks as I push open his door. It’s cracked open, giving me the perfect view of him.
Rin looks up his eyes covered by deep, dark sunglasses. I’d never realized it but these sunglasses are the reason why I don’t know the color of his eyes. I’ve been guessing brown, deep brown. Maybe blue, but I don’t care. Not right now. He could have demon eyes and have blood dripping from his mouth, and I’d still be crushed by his tears. I’d still want to help him.
“Ken . . . Kenzie,” Rin mumbles as a single tear drifts down his wet cheek.
I don’t think. I just run, dropping to Rin’s side as he gaps out a sob.
“Lincoln?” I reach out for his hand that’s limply at his side. “Rinny. What’s wrong?”
Rin’s hand trembles in mine, his covered eyes staring at the ground.
“I can’t do it any more,” He says. His voice clouded by tears.
“What?”
“This.” Rin lifts his free hand up waving lazily at himself. “I can’t be Lincoln Keller.”
I feel like I’m getting punched in the face. This boy, this crazy, amazing, so confident boy can’t be him anymore. It doesn’t make sense, Lincoln has always been strong, happy. I don’t understand. But I don’t really care, I just wanna help him. I just wanna hold him.
I inch closer to Rin, squeezing his still trembling hand. “Who do you wanna be?” I ponder, fighting back the tears that are begging to come.
Rin lets out a long, shaky breath. “I don’t know anymore.”
I pull Rin to my side, letting his head fall onto my chest as he slowly lays down. I raise my hands up to his head, lacing my fingers through his dark brown hair as I hold him closer than I’ve ever held anyone.
“I like you the way you are,” I cry softly, wet tears dripping onto his head as he gasps out sobs. “Lincoln, Rin. Funny, broken.”
Rin presses his head deep into my chest, his warm tears soaking my shirt.
“I’m not cool,” Rin tells me softly. “I don’t wear these glasses to look cool . . . I. . I . . . I wear them to hide . . . To hide my feelings.”
That’s when it hits me. Lincoln, the cool, funny, nice boy didn’t do things to be cool. He wore these glasses, everyday because everyday was hard, everyday he had to hide his reddened eyes. His tears.
I lift Rin up, holding his face in between my hands as I slowly let my tears flow faster.
My hands inch to the sunglasses, my fingers wrap around the black plastic as I steadily pull them off.
I can’t hold in the gaps that escapes my lips. Lincoln’s eyes, his eyes are so beautiful. A perfect bright green and blue mixed. Marbled together.
“Lincoln,” I breathe softly, his reddened eyes shaky softly as I lower the glasses. “You’re perfect.”
Rin lifts his hand up to my cheek, wiping away the multiple tears that are pouring down. “Kenzie,” he murmurs. “You know you have my heart. Right?”
A small, tiny smile pulls at my lips. Rin’s sad and yet he still has all his charm, that’s who he is. The guy who can smile through anything.
“Like. . . More than . . . Friends?”
Lincoln smiles now his eyes laced with tears. “We’ve never just been friends.”
I swallow, my heart racing.
Lincoln inches closer. “I know that now.”
I’ve known it since day one. Is what I wanted to say and I probably would have but before I could our lips were connected, and so were our worlds. Two different souls, now one. Two different lives, now one. Two different people, still different but stronger, happier.
I slowly pull away, raising my hand up to Rin’s still wet face. “You don’t have to hide from me.” I mutter, his sparkling, gorgeous, minty blue eyes sucking my words out of me.
“I’m sorry I did.”
I shake my head, lost in his gaze. “I like hide and seek,” I smile softly.
Rin smiles back. “And I like you.”
We kiss again, this time no better than the last. Just the same, the electrical energy that flowed through us, knowing that Lincoln didn’t just like me and I didn’t just like him.
I loved him. His eyes, his smile, his hair, his laughter, his voice, him calling my name. There wasn’t one thing I didn’t love about Lincoln.
And that list would never end. No matter what, I loved him and he loved me. It was perfect.
Until . . . Suddenly
It wasn’t.