Every tear you shed,

Sparks a fire in my chest.

I am jealous of the feelings,

Jealous because I am impressed.

I couldn’t feel a tiny thing,

For my emotions have turned numb.

There wasn’t room for any pain,

When my long day was done.

I wish that I could hurt that way,

A way that makes me sad.

But I take every giant loss,

And pretend that I am glad.

Denial is my favourite thing,

Though it makes me feel guilty.

I can’t help but push from mind,

The thoughts of pain that kill me.

A death of family rings a bell,

But it was never real.

At least in not in my mind because

I didn’t really feel.

Maybe that's when it begins.

Denial might appear

When pain becomes too painful,

And grief is all you fear.