Her
This stranger in the street
Was yesterday my friend.
Wait, no.
Not yesterday.
When was the last time I called her a friend?
Was it when she first betrayed me?
Or did we truly make up since then,
Only to collapse again?
Was it when she hijacked my body,
My mind?
Was it when she invited herself in,
Took over my actions,
And convinced everyone she was still me?
I’m not sure.
I don’t know when I started hating her.
I don’t think I realized it at first.
But watching her now…
How the hell did I ever like her?
She lies.
She hurts.
She doesn’t care,
Not nearly as much as she should.
Why won’t she just care?
She doesn’t care about anything,
Not school,
Not friends,
Not me.
Yet she’s so stressed out,
Stressed to the point that everything makes her snap.
But…
_Why won’t she just care?_
I hate her.
I hate her I hate her I hate her.
I want her _out_.
I just don’t know how to kick her out.
She’s so much stronger than me.
She’s stronger,
Smarter,
She’s got the will to beat me.
She wants to crush me more than I want to thrive.
But… is that her words?
Is she the one telling me I’m weak?
Or is that the truth?
I can’t see the world clearly.
Everything looks wrong.
I don’t know what to trust.
Not my feelings,
Not my mind.
I can’t tell the difference between them.
I don’t know which thoughts are mine,
And which are her’s.
And she fights me every day.
Her serpentine voice hissing in my ear,
But my voice sounds like hers now.
I used to know which ideas were hers,
And which were mine.
But when she tells me I’m not enough…
That’s my voice.
That’s definitely my voice.
…right?