I never told you this, but

I used to think you were a loser.

I hated the scrunch of your nose

When you laughed—always laughing,

What was so funny?—

And I hated your fashion sense.

I despised the squeak of your sneakers

Which you never tied, for aesthetic's sake,

And I abhorred your baggy jeans

With your dream university pin stitched at the hip.

I hated everything about you,

But my friends seemed to love you,

And you seemed to like me.

You'd think me as Duke,

Nestled in the heart of North Carolina,

The way you would beam like the

Warmth of a thousand suns were residing

Within you.

I am not your dream school,

Nor am I your dream girl.

I used to think you were a loser

Who would laugh at the witty quips I'd give,

And rushed through crowded hallways to meet me

Halfway.

The loser who needed to do the L-trick to differentiate

Between his left and rights,

And who couldn't quite read a clock,

But can, for some reason, recite the alphabet backwards.

You were a loser.

You were a moron, an idiot, and you had a

Bigger heart than I think you knew what to do with.

You were kind to the wrong people,

People who didn't deserve your pleasantries,

And you loved so openly,

It made me sick.

You remembered my favorite drink,

And bought me one—unprompted—with a nonchalant,

"You said you liked this one, right?"

The world was thrown off its axis,

And I swore my gut would spill with gore and

A kaleidoscope.

You made me sick.

And when I asked:

Why?

Why would you spend your money

On someone who rolls their eyes whenever you're near,

And who was always on the offense when it came to you,

You smiled.

Smiled, and—again,

I felt the cinematic rays of a thousand suns

Filter through the windows of your eyes—said,

"'Cause I like you."

I hated you.

Your stupid pleasantries,

The lack of direction you had,

And how your nose srunches when you laughed—

Between your brows, wrinkled, and upturned at the tip—

At some lame joke.

Your freckles,

They're speckled along your cheeks and nose like a

Drizzle of angel's dust.

And your eyes,

Seafoam green and pulling anyone who dares to dive in

Like the drag of the tide.

I...

Oh.