When all hope fails, what do we rely on?

People rely on drugs,

Alcohol,

Social media,

God.

I turn to the sky,

The water,

The stars,

The pictures of you.

I turn to my parents gravestones,

Talking to them.

I turn to the rain and thunder,

The lighting flashing.

I turn to the moon

And tears that reflect my story.

I turn to the mirror,

All in hopes I might change.

I turn to my bed and sleep,

Hoping my dreams will save me.

I turn to my thoughts,

Of when everything was fine.

I turn to the memories with just us.

I turn to the peacefulness of life.

The love that isn’t gone,

But not apparent.

I turn to demons, hoping that they are angels.

They never are though.

They never will be.

The nights of loneliness.

The fears of when I am alone,

Someone is there, unknowingly.

The fears of when I’m not alone,

That all of the sudden I will be.

I turn to everything but what I need to.

Everything else that doesn’t matter.

Everything like that gun.

Everything like that bottle of medicine.

All I need is you.

For you to come back.

I need to not turn to the hope I lost,

But to hope that I will have hope again.