You call yourself a creature,

With a strange defense system.

But it’s not your fault.

I tell myself I’m mad at you,

And I am.

But I still love you.

And I’m going to love you no matter what.

You put up walls,

When you find yourself loving someone,

Because you don’t want to get hurt.

And I’m sorry I failed, at filling that gap.

You are my sister,

And my roomate,

And I wasn’t careful enough.

You took,

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10…

Pills, wanting an escape.

And I want you to know,

I’ll ruin my life.

I’ll sacrifice my wellbeing for yours,

Every. Time. Over and over again.

It will be okay.

If we can’t stop the bleeding,

I will love you either way.

I tell people I’m disassociated,

Because I am.

I already mourned the loss of lilli,

But I didn’t think I’d fall in love with the person lilli died to become.

They all ask if I’m okay,

And I smile and lie,

Because that’s what I’m good at.

Fake smiles,

Fake lives.

Your not a strange creature,

With a strange defense,

Your jsut you.

And if you decide to go down the path your on,

Or if you turn around.

I’m going to be by your side.

I’m going to love you no matter what.

I lost the Lilli you used to be,

But I fell inlove with the lilli you are now,

Even though I promised myself I wouldn’t.

I don’t want you to leave me for a year.

I don’t want to be alone.

I want you to get the help you need.

I want you to be happy.

You were in the hospital for a week, got out for another, and then overdosed.

And you might be back for long term.

I might not see you until you are 18.

And I’ll be 15.

I can’t do that.

Whatever you do,

Whatever you break,

Whoever you hurt,

Wherever you go,

I’m going to love you either way.

Forever♾️