I wish I could believe

I look around see people

happy

filled with something bigger than themselves

they see their purpose

they know they are loved unconditionally

I want a love like that, that flows constantly

someone who will always accept me

who knows me better than i know myself

I want someone who has a plan

who knows what happens

who had the answers

_I want to believe _

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please trust me i do

more than i want to admit

I try and protect myself

thinking of the future

what if their wrong?

what if i’m wrong?

how do people put so much faith in something they don’t know exists?

What happens next?

This can’t be all there is.

But what if i’m wrong…

what if there’s no ones there

And I’m praying to empty air.

A series of coincidences led to my belief

leaving me empty in my grave.

_I’m scared _

_I’m really scared_

I want to believe

But I can’t

But when i’m lonely I still look into the sky.

And say your name,

I still hope your listening

Because then at least someone cares.__

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