I tried to hide it But the truth came out The truth on how I feel about you How deeply I care about you That night, all perceptions of you changed in my mind You became and most perfect girl I have ever seen I couldn’t hide these feelings They were to strong When I knew you felt the same Nothing else mattered anymore Just you and me

Yes it’s true It was me all along I stole it from you I knew it was wrong I planned it all out I took steps to hide it I did the deed And I lied all about it

**“Darling, you could’ve avoided this if you hadn’t opened your pretty little mouth to call me a psycho..” ** I stood there infront of him, his body covered in the slimy crimson substance of blood. How dare he talk to another girl? How dare he betray my trust in such a horrid manner? “Whatever..” I mumbled, as I carelessly turned away from him while I pulled the bloodied surgeons gloves off of my hands. I hadn’t thought to check his pulse at all. And that’s when the phone call ended and the police sirens sounded. “Officer I swear I didn’t kill him..” I now say with fake tears swelling in my eyes. “Do you really think his own girlfriend would do such a thing?” I forced my voice to give out, bringing my hands up to my mouth.

Confess, I must—as it is to much of a burden For what might happen, I cannot comprehend the consequence I must confess this feeling of dread that has stayed in my mind for so long For even the slightest touch could drive me to insanity What sins I must commit to feed this ache—it is almost too much to bear I must shut them out, as they would drag me down with them.

I want to die. No, really I do. No, not the “man I’m gonna kill myself” type of thinking but the type where I’m thinking of killing myself like homework I’ll do later. Not the type where I say it and never do it but The type where I’m really close to finding some way to end my life. To finish it up and put an end to it instead of procrastinating it. It’s at a point where no matter how much my friends try to tell me not too to put down the pen and do something useful I can’t stop thinking of doing it like it needs to be done. No more pushing it back no more denying. To put the pen down would be to ball it all up and I cannot do that anymore. It’s like I can never escape from it never get away until I go through with it until I stop procrastinating until I do my homework … I should do my homework.

Maybe when it comes to the next day I’ll see you again Maybe you’ll wait for me til the days end The way I ascend, At the sight of your eyes that hold little pride Take my hand let us dance Around the city around the clock Til it turns night Beneath the stars, Let us lye awake Together, hand in hand Let me hold you close Let me love you And let me be your best friend Could you ever love me the way I love you Could you ever love me, —your dearest friend

I feel hollow I feel so much but nothing at the same time. After months maybe years of anxiety everything has come crashing down Yet I mostly just feel hollow. I don’t even have further words.

I have a confession to make With everything that is at sake My family is fighting My friends are crying Everything I've fought for On my knees, praying on the floor "God, help me" I mutter under sobbing breaths The things that I've said The blood that I've bled I didn't have You in my heart "Help me, God, where do I start?" I want to clean up this mess I've made I didn't deserve it, but You still stayed I'm so sad and just broken But You still call me beloved, a token In my worst time, so afraid I heard, "your debts have been paid." God's got me, his plan is the way He reminds me: all I have to do is pray On my knees, praying on the floor "I repent of my sins Please forgive me, God I have a confession to make."

Fearful and agitated I’m pacing, my minds racing How can I face him anymore? A God fearing man But is there other forces at hand What shall I do when the ball drops? A master manipulator that’s me I fell in love, I thought I changed Programming my mind to envision progress I’m still pacing because a secrets about to come out Will he still love me even in the drought? Can he love the truth? I guess not.

Heart racing. Mind tripping over itself. _Why is it so hard? _ _Just do it._ __ I open my mouth to confess, But no words come out. Try again. They are waiting. Turn around and run away. So much for confessing.