Reading In A Room Full Of People
Okay Iām good
This is fine
This happens every time
Breathe in
Breathe out
Simple
_Yeah but guess what? _
_Youāre going to read those words _
_Your tongue will betray your eyes _
_Messing up your speech _
_The room is going to judge you _
_Thatās something to worry about_
**Heart drops **
**Pounding out of my chest**
I donāt care
Iām fine
I can speak like a normal person
_No but thatās the thing _
_You canāt speak normal _
_Your voice shakes _
_You mispronounce every word _
**Sweat starting to stab me through my skin **
No no no
Breathe in
Breathe out
Simple
_You stumble _
_You fumble _
_You fall until thereās nothing left but a scared little girl _
_Who still canāt speak in front of a group of people _
_Youāre pathetic _
**Air caught in my lungs **
**Going too fast **
**Going too slow **
Iāve grown
I know I have
Iām an adult now
Iām not that same scared girl
Iām not
_Oh yes _
_Yes you are _
_And secretly _
_You know it_
**Shaking taking over my touch **
**Taking over my bones **
No Iām fine
No matter what you say
I know who I am
I know what Iām capable of
And I can do this
_I highly doubt that _
**_Ten minutes later
_**
See?
I did it
I knew it wasnāt going to be that bad
_Well done _
_But tell me _
_If you know itās not that bad _
_How come you let me control you? _
_How come you let me take over you in every way possible?_
Iā¦
_Thatās what i thought _
_See you next week _
