my life is untrue. stirring and writhing. choking and screaming. bruises and cuts. broken plates, bowls, cups. dare i stare at a bright light, shining inside, glistening off my skin. dare i cusp my hands, interlock my fingers. snatch the light and throw it on my face. loudly smiling, i do. smelling the crisp, strong spring air with closed eyes. imagining the sweet floral scent of the flowers hearing the bussing bees, a serene paradise simply escaping the world, one second after minute, after hour only to be flinched and snatched away. punched, slapped, kicked. broken nose, bleeding, swelling. staring at the large dark figure only the man i swore my life away to, months ago glancing at his bloodied wedding ring, the hand that dare punch me but i dare not dodge, for my life depends. i will lay, take it all.