my life is untrue. stirring and writhing. choking and screaming. bruises and cuts. broken plates, bowls, cups. dare i stare at a bright light, shining inside, glistening off my skin. dare i cusp my hands, interlock my fingers. snatch the light and throw it on my face. loudly smiling, i do. smelling the crisp, strong spring air with closed eyes. imagining the sweet floral scent of the flowers hearing the bussing bees, a serene paradise simply escaping the world, one second after minute, after hour only to be flinched and snatched away. punched, slapped, kicked. broken nose, bleeding, swelling. staring at the large dark figure only the man i swore my life away to, months ago glancing at his bloodied wedding ring, the hand that dare punch me but i dare not dodge, for my life depends. i will lay, take it all.

did i cross the line? does my mind decieve me? i feel i am unreal, my emotions. my emotions faded into blurs blurs, slurs, the feeling of drunkenness. drunkenness. falling and vomiting and giggling. giggling sounding like hisses and screeches giggling unleashing my inner venom. venom i spew, to infect, to poison, to kill, to hurt. did i cross the line? have u disappointed my mother? my father? i hope so, see me truly. my true self, my true being. i am no longer your small snakelet. i am a fully grown snake. poisoning, killing, hurting about did i cross the line? tell me i did.