I’m not gonna lie I will miss it. The fun I used to have, nights full of sins and a thrill that only lasted mere moments and the pain that followed. I look eagerly at my hands as I lay in my bed covers all over the floor. “I can’t believe I’m really about to do it. I’m going to stop this once and for all.” My eyes were crusty with dry tears as I drag myself out of bed. I tiptoed to the kitchen my eyes glancing every photograph hanged on the wall as I went. I saw a younger me. A much happier counter part who was not tainted by the evil cruelty of this world. Tears roll down my cheek, I press my hand against the wall. “If only you knew what the future had in store. I wonder if that smile will be as bright..” I asked myself. Of course, no one answered. Not like I wasn’t used to it. I counted every step to the counter holding the beautiful, sharp metallic blades. I choose a large chefs knife . It’s polished blade displaying my dead eyes reflection. I wonder how long it’s been since there’s actually been any life in them. Maybe last year? Anyways it’s too late to turn back now. I walked into the bathroom. My dull stare welcomed me through the mirror. In my heart I could feel something tightening. something telling me there’s another way. That this was the wrong choice and I should just go back into my room and go back to bed. Was it her? Speaking to me from the afterlife? I’ve let her down. Im a failure to everyone. I take a deep breath and gripped the knife with both hands at the mirror before turning it on myself aiming directly at my heart. I felt a rush of adrenaline that I’ve never felt before. I was the most confident I’ve ever been, I was the one in control. I close my eyes and thrusted as hard as I could. And then it was over. The blade had ripped a hole in my heart. I collapsed on the floor as blood poured from the wound. I felt myself slipping out of consciousness. My body felt ice cold cause the lack of circulation. My mind flashes with the memories of the happy times. Isn’t it cruel they only show up when you’ll never be able to make new ones? And then it was like time stopped. No pain, no sadness, no nothing. I close my eyes and allow myself to pass on to the next life. Maybe I’ll be reborn into another world, one that I actually had a chance in.