I hate camping. Summer is the more outdoorsy campy kinda twin. I am okay with glamping or better yet just staying at a freaking hotel. But noooooo Summer just had to pull me on this camping trip with her saying it would help her get her mind off her break up with Ally. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my twin. Even camping.

For me, my loathing for camping comes down to a few things:

1) SPIDERS! Biggest arachnophobe there is in there world over here. Hi hello! That’s me. It doesn’t matter that spiders are “good” and eat all the other bugs. I would rather the other bugs than the spiders. I know I know. It doesn’t make any logical sense but it’s something about those eight legs of a spider that just make me lose my mind. I am too scared of spiders to exist near them. And it seems that spiders know this because they always find their way to me like a moth to a bright light. It’s almost as if they are taking out their revenge on me for squashing their distant cousins…or let’s be real, making someone else squash their distant cousins because that is how afraid I am of these damn things that I’m too scared to even kill them. But I mean the fear isn’t completely unfounded. I’ve heard too many horror stories about the mother spider carrying their baby spiders on their back and when one goes to squash the spider, all the little babies scattered everywhere. Horror movie shit right there.

2) Speaking of horror movies, I have seen one too many of them to not be absolutely freaked out that Michael Myers or Jason or some maniac serial killer isn’t lurking behind the trees waiting to slaughter me.

3) And speaking of maniacs wanting to slaughter me, there’s the unpredictability of wildlife and BEARS. Bears who will absolutely maul you to death. Like why put yourself in that position? I value my life too much and I feel like if you are deep in the woods camping that you are just tempting fate to mess with you.

I have mentioned all of this to Summer but she doesn’t see it my way. At all. Unfortunately.

Which is how I find myself here pitching a tent with her in the woods. She’s going to teach me how to build a fire next. So far I have seen zero spiders, serial killers, and bears so that’s cool and stuff.

More later because it’s time to go hunting for some wood for the fire.

Later: I’m actually genuinely feeling weird because we just had a lovely time finding fire wood. There were bunnies that hopped across our path which made us talk about how dad read is Watership Down when we were younger and snuggled into bed. We played a game that we haven’t played since childhood called, “And what happens next?” where we take turns creating a story and then throw it to the other person to continue with what happens next in the story. Back and forth and back and forth. We centered it around the fictional world of Watership Down and it was just so fun and also nostalgic for our younger years. Maybe I can see why camping isn’t so bad especially since Summer said we’re going to make s’mores momentarily.