The way she smiled at everyone with such gentleness is what made me start to fall for her. Everyone I ever get close to get hurt majorly or dies in some violent way. All I have ever wanted was to be close to someone, close enough to know I am loved. But loved in the sweet way where you are told just how beautiful you are in the morning light as you sink a cup of coffee or just the look in their eyes when they see you happy. Never once have I allowed it to happen because in my mind that was only danger, for me and the other person involved. I let her get too close to me. It is all my fault. Watching as her breathing is slowing and I can feel her heart beat becoming faint is a feeling I never knew about till now. It is terrifying. All I can feel is the warm red liquid that is coating my legs and arms as I hold her, trying to console her in any way I can. In the distance I hear the sirens but I think they are far out and I’m not even sure they are for her. I knew we shouldn’t have come this way. The life is slipping from her eyes even though she holds a sweet, pure smile while looking at me. Never have I been able to keep anything good for more than a few months, once it hit the one year mark I knew it wasn’t right but little did I know just how wrong it would be. This is my fault, I shouldn’t have stayed for as long as I did and I shouldn’t have allowed us to come this way. The dimly lit courtyard is such a contrast to the bright city lights but it is beautiful. If they don’t make it in time at least she has this beautiful light scene and me holding her. Maybe she doesn’t even feel me anymore, I mean she is starting to shiver which is never a good sign. I want to tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me, the life I had planned for us. Yet my voice can not come out, it is nothing. I can feel the tears slowly run down my cheeks as I look down at her beautiful face. In the future I can’t let anyone get this close ever again, it will lead to more harm and possibly more death, definitely more pain for me. I can’t keep doing that because it just becomes more and more. I wanted to see her grow into the best version of herself. The red and blue lights start flooding the courtyard but I know it’s too late. It is like a movie and everything feels slowed down as soon as I notice her breathing has stopped and they try to take me away from her. I loved her yet I knew all along that this was how it would end.