Felt the sharp pain,

Drop,

Dropping to the floor.

My blood dripping down.

I look down,

everything’s red.

It’s staring to become white.

My breath hitches,

The part stitches.

I feel the longing.

More,

I need more,

Give me more.

Pain, as sharp as thousands knife’s,

Yet longing.

A longing,

For something so impure.

I need it,

It’s calming,

Reframing it,

So twisted.

So twisted to seek comfort,

in something that’s gonna rot a soul.

That’s gonna twist your head,

Twist it, so that you don’t see your doing this.

Your the one, poisoning your head.

Rotting your brain.

To believe it’s…comfort…

To make yourself believe,

That this is helpful.

That this will safe you.

No,

No my child.

It will not.

It won’t help you.

It will only change you.

Change your sight.

Rot it till you see red.

Cuts deepening,

Getting high while calmly breathing.

Enjoying the pain.

Oh sweet pain.

Relieve..

Now I see it,

I’m…

Im my own poison.

But why…

Oh right,

You.

I did this for you.

To be able to cope,

To adapt.

To be there for you,

Even when I..longed for you.

Your voice,your comfort.

Yet only I got,

Screams which made me forgot.

I forgot it, kindness.

Flying by at its most finest.

Forgotten how it feels,

How it reels,

In the back of my mind.

No, no my child.

He won’t comfort you,

He won’t hold you,

He’ll bite,

He’ll bite and destroy you.

Mentally wreck you.

I longed for it,

but was _punished_

Punished for wanting help.

For screaming a cry for help.

Right…

Right.

I’m not supposed to.

I need to be cold,

Unbreakable,

Not a cry baby.

I need to hide,

Hide away those feelings.

Hide away, this pain.