I don’t know what stage of grief I am in.

I said my goodbye.

I went to the funeral.

I cried.

She felt so cold.

She looked like she was sleeping.

I remember thinking they closed the casket all too suddenly,

Put her in the ground too fast.

Surely I haven’t moved on so fast?

But I feel nothing.

I think of her and I feel nothing.

I sit around and I do nothing.

I feel no desire.

I feel no grief.

I feel no loss.

There is nothing in me.

I am hollow.

My life is hollow.

Why can’t I cry?

Why can’t I sob?

Why aren’t I in pain?

I should be.

This is the greatest loss I’ve ever known.

It has reminded me how death loves to remain very close.

Everything will end.

It’s all meaningless.

Everything will end.

I already said my goodbyes.