They say that dust is largely human detritus

A buildup of the wake of microscopic entropy

Trailing behind each one of us.

Regardless of decomposition, of further entropic breakdown

Some of these little pieces and some even smaller

Have surely settled into the places you’ve been-

Or have been borne up on the currents of the wind, fated to circle the earth until the sun explodes.

In both cases...

I’ve been crying a lot lately

But only in my head

A grief unborn

Like a leaky gas main

That travels underground

Snaking its way through life

Destruction unseen

If I can’t feel it

Does it really exist?

Can I weather

The lurking tidal wave

Will the dam hold?

An escaped tear

A sigh

Then back to the bargaining table

Maybe time isn’t real

What if in another dimension

Another reality

I can’t help ...

Sadness

I have so much sad in me

Born with sadness in my veins

It’s the only stable thing that goes through me

Flowing back and forth my body

Sadness is always there

Under every happy moment

There is a sadness

One I can not describe

For it is always there

When I get sad it comes in waves

But not small ones

Tsunami waves crashing inside my head

Rocking my brain and spilling out of my eyes

My sadn...

She’s gone?

No. This can’t be. I saw her not two days ago.

I haven’t even said goodbye. I must do that first.

Fix what I said and did on that Friday.

But she is.

Maybe there’s something I can do?

A soul for a soul.

Take me instead.

It’s all my fault.

Maybe if I did something different?

Maybe if I never even knew her in the first place.

She’s gone.

Tears are all I know.

I’m drowning in sadn...

Why . . .

I thought you loved me

I thought I found my way back

I am . . . Was finally me

The true me

And now you’re taking that away

Why . . .

What did I do?

What have I done?

How many times can I ask for forgiveness

Before you start listening

How many times must I tell myself this is not true?

What do you want me to do?

I loved my life

Wait that’s a lie

I didn’t love it

I tolerated it

...

Hey, I’m pretty tired today from an exam, but I have a poem about this that I made a while ago called “your sweater” it’s one of my favorite pieces....

Trouble with grief,

Is that we don’t know,

When it ends,

Just when it starts,

This overwhelming,

Feeling of pure loss,

That only we know,

It starts you think,

And then your heart begins to sink,

And then throe,

After throe,

Of stormy seas,

When will it cease,

Only our heart will show,

Us the ebb and flow.

Be with it child,

As if a fire wild,

Let it burn you,

Till you are through,

So you can stand,...

I have had enough,

Of the loss,

This grief,

I am tired of this death.

Of this wave,

After wave

Of mourning

I am tired of dealing

With this sadness,

After all,

Is this normal,

To drown this way,

Lungs filled with grief

Not water or air

Just silence,

Muted

By death.

No more

Till I break…

…

Love you R

…

🖤...

All those years of loving denial

You had me fooled

Soul now in a state of survival

My emotions have cooled

As I have exposed all your lies

All your dirty little secrets

You tried to hide from my eyes

Might advertise on a leaflet

Give away soul destroyer for free

Doubt anyone would want him

When they realise what he did to me

Surviving this part of my life

Is a heavy weight to bear

I really love...

she couldn't have done it

no one's that much of a fool

not a person can be that stupid

it's simply not possible

if i ignore her will she leave?

what if i ghosted her for a week

and tried to get her to apologize

will that work?

she doesn't value her dignity

or she never had any at all

the sound of her voice

makes me furious

i thought she was good

that she wouldn't just leave

when i took her in...