I won’t sit here and reiterate shit you already know.

See, I don’t know if you’re struggling because you’re not around.

Tears fall in disdain, manifestation of wicked thoughts that I try to reframe.

Enduring the pain.

Crying hysterically trying to refrain.

From teetering on the edge of being level headed or insane.

Nothing is working not even the bumps of cocaine.

Twelve gauge and the couch pillow are all that remain.

Loss of balance, then the breakdown.

Lights out.

A breeding ground for free flowing thoughts.

I play the tape back and remember every time we fought.

And it rips my heart from my chest.

Because I’ll still apologize for making the mess.

My days have seen better days.

Acting like I don’t exist now.

Wish it would stop, it grabs me limb from limb and it pulls me apart.

I don’t want to wonder if you’re safe or where you are.

Hijacked, there’s zero control over my heart.

The silence burns like flaming darts.

Living without you is like breathing with no air.

Self love is vital if I want to keep loving you.

To the point where I’m finally standing next to you.

I whisper, it’s been a pleasure being able to fall in love with you all over again.